And when my eyes found Rowan, alive and shaken, staring at me like I was the only thing anchoring her to the earth, something inside me settled. And something inside me broke open too.
The smoke was still drifting low across the clubhouse, curling around the bodies, the broken concrete, the spent shells glinting like dull brass teeth. My ears rang, but underneath it all I could hear my own heartbeat, hard and uneven, and too damn loud.
I saw Rowan, standing where the prospect had pulled her, his arm still half in front of her like he wasn’t sure the danger was over and he was ready to dive in front of her and take a bullet. The man would go far with us. Her eyes were locked on me, wide and shining, her chest rising and falling fast.
I started toward her before I even realized my boots were moving. Every step felt like walking out of a nightmare and into something I wasn’t sure I deserved.
She didn’t move at first. Just stared at me like she was trying to understand what she’d just seen—what I’d just done. What I’d said.
When I got close enough, she took a shaky breath. “Tex…”
Hearing my name in her voice—soft, cracked, full of something I couldn’t name—it hit me harder than any bullet ever had. And I’d taken many bullets in my life.
I stopped right in front of her, close enough to see the flecks of color in her eyes, close enough to see the tear tracks cutting through the dust on her cheeks. Close enough to breathe her sweet scent into my lungs like that was all the oxygen I would ever need.
“You okay?” I asked, though my voice came out rougher than I meant it to.
She nodded, but it wasn’t convincing. Her hands were trembling. Hell, mine were too, but mine wasn’t because of the death around me—I was used to that. Mine was because my heart was pounding so hard like it did every time I looked at this woman. This beautiful, feisty woman who challenged me in the best way. Who saw who and what I was and didn’t flinch back from it. I hadn’t even kissed her but I knew if I was ever lucky enough to, it would be the best kiss of my life.
The prospect stepped back, giving us space, but he stayed close like I’d told him. Good kid.
Rowan swallowed hard. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Done what?” I asked, even though I knew exactly what she meant.
“Put yourself in danger for me.” Her voice wavered.
“Yes, I should,” I said quietly. “And I did because you’re worth saving, Rowan. You’re worth protecting. You’re worth everything.”
She looked away like she couldn’t handle the weight of it. Or maybe like she was afraid to believe it. “You can’t say those things to me, Tex, you can’t?—”
I reached out slowly, giving her time to pull back. She didn’t. My fingers brushed her cheek, wiping away a streak of dirt and tears. Her breath hitched, and she leaned into my hand like she didn’t even realize she was doing it.
Behind us, JD called out orders, the Kings regrouping, checking ammo, checking each other. It looked like a couple of our guys had been shot, but no one was dead, unlike the cartel.
The world kept on moving, but right here, right in front of me, everything felt suspended.
Rowan finally looked up at me again. “I’m scared, Tex.”
A flare of anger surged through my chest at that. I didn’t want her to be scared, not ever.
“Of what?” I asked reluctantly. “Of me?”
She shook her head automatically. “No, I’ve never been scared of you.”
I swallowed. “Okay, then what?”
“They’re going to come back for me.”
“I know,” I said. There was no point in lying to her. “But they’re gonna have to go through all of us to get to you.”
Her eyes searched mine, desperate, scared, hopeful all at once. “And if they do?”
I stepped closer, close enough that our foreheads nearly touched. I grabbed the back of her neck and closed my eyes,forehead to forehead. “Then I’ll stand in front of you. I’ll protect your body with mine,” I said. “Every damn time.”
Her breath trembled out of her, like she was letting herself believe me even if it terrified her.
I didn’t kiss her. God knows I wanted to. But this wasn’t the moment for that. This was the moment for truth, not for kisses surrounded by death.
