My thoughts went to Tex and his words that he would die for me, and the bubbling of grief tightened inside.
The prospect swallowed hard, his eyes flicking to mine with something like pity. “I’m sorry,” he said, with so much pity in his tone that I felt like I was going to be sick. “It’s your ranch.”
I was already breathing out a sigh of relief before I could comprehend what he was saying. Then I gasped. “No!”
“It was set on fire.”
The room tilted. “What?” My voice came out thin, barely there.
“They said most of it is gone. I’m sorry.”
For a moment I couldn’t breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn’t move.
The ranch. My home. My parents’ legacy. The only piece of them I had left was gone.
I pressed a hand to my mouth, trying to hold in the sound clawing its way up my throat. The prospect looked like he wished he could take back the words, but it was too late. They were already inside me, tearing everything apart.
“The animals?” I asked through my fingers still covering my mouth.
The prospect shook his head. “They’re gone too. The barn doors were locked shut with chains when they lit it up.”
I stumbled back until my shoulders hit the wall, and I slid down it, knees giving out.
The ranch was gone. My beautiful animals were all gone.
And suddenly, this safe house didn’t feel safe at all.
Nowhere felt safe anymore.
I felt numb as images of the ranch flickered through my mind. Memories of the animals, of my beautiful horses burning alive inside the barn, screaming for me to help them. To get them out of there. But I hadn’t come. I had been here, safe and protected. I had been hiding while they had burned alive.
I screamed against the hand over my mouth, grief and anger turning into something ugly inside me. The prospect looked uncomfortable, uncertain whether to try to comfort me or not. He took one step toward me and I held up a hand.
“Don’t,” I snapped, and he nodded his acquiescence. “How did it happen? I thought you had men there watching it.”
“We did, but when they turned up at the clubhouse we rang for backup…” His words trailed off so I filled in for him.
“And they left my ranch and went to help.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think that was the plan all along?”
The other two men stepped forward, quizzical expressions on their faces. The taller one shook his head. “No one would risk that many men.”
“You sure of that?” the other man said.
We all fell silent after that.
I sat there on the dirty floor, trying to rid myself of the images inside me. Trying to focus on breathing. On living. On staying in the present. Because I couldn’t fall apart. Not yet.
Tex was still alive, and he was still out there, fighting for me.
And if he could hold it together, then so could I.
Just like all the things I wanted to say to Tex would have their time, so would my grief for my many losses.
And there were so many that they were stacking up high now. Like a temple of bones, they wobbled but continued to grow. But what else could be taken from me? I had nothing left.
