I hated everything that I had done to get me to this point.
This wasn’t going to make any of that right. The dark days and even darker nights would be a whole lot worse after this, but it was the only way. I’d tried everything else. This was the one thing on the list that there wouldn’t be any coming back from.
I patted Casa’s shoulder in answer and walked towards the barmaid.
Fuck no I wasn’t sure about this. But I was a disease, an’ all I did was spread lies and hate and death. I needed everyone I loved away from me before it was too late.
*
I came out from the storeroom, my gaze going over the packed bar until I found Casa. The girl dancing in front of him turned around and leaned in to kiss him on the mouth and as usual he pushed her away.
I raised an eyebrow at him as I picked my bottle of beer up from the table and downed the entire thing in one go.
“Come on, baby,” she purred. “Just one kiss.”
But she didn’t know Casa, because if she did she’d have known he didn’t do kissing. He pushed her away again, done with her. “Get the fuck out here, girl,” he said, and she stumbled off with a pout.
“Come on, let’s go,” I said, already done with the place for the night. I was done with everything.
“You get what you need?” he asked, finishing his beer.
“I got fucking something,” I replied darkly, the hate settling in my bones further.
If there was a hell, then this was it.
“Probably fucking chlamydia!” he laughed.
“Fuck, don’t say that,” I groaned, dragging a hand down my face.
Another woman had already slipped in front of Casa and taken the first bitch’s place, but Casa slapped her on the ass and pushed her away. “Laters, girl.”
I should have apologized for making him miss out on so much pussy that night, but he could get that shit anywhere, and I had no doubt he’d get some by the end of the night regardless. He always did. Hence the name Casa, short for Casa-fucking-nova.
We threaded our way through the overcrowded bar and back outside. The dumb fuck from earlier was still on the ground passed out, but there was a crowd around him by then, and the sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. A couple of people looked over at me as I headed to my bike, but no one said a damn thing to me about it. And no one would say a damn thing unless they had a death wish.
No one fucked with the Devil’s Highwaymen and expected to walk away from it in one piece.
I started my bike and pulled on my helmet, feeling shame so bad that my stomach hurt. I looked down at my blood splattered boots and gave a shake of my head.
I was a piece of shit.
I was worse than a piece of shit.
I was shit covered in shit.
I’d promised her I’d never cheat, that she would be the only woman for me till the day I died, yet here I was. That was where I’d had to go to get her to hate me. To make her give up on me. Part of me was scared at the thought, because I knew that once she found out, then that’d be it. It’d be truly over.
I’d die without her. That was a fact.
But she’d live without me. That was a fact also.
And if anyone was worth dying for, it was her.
“Ready, brother?” Casa said, and I nodded.
He’d been with me every step of the way. Lots of brothers tried to stem my flow of anger and hate, but they saw I was a lost cause. But not Casa; he’d stuck by my side through it all. I was gonna have to cut him loose soon too, though.
When your hearts filled with this much hate there ain’t no room for much else. Family, friends, they all had to go.
I cracked my neck again, and I pulled out of the parking lot and back onto the blacktop with Casa following me that time.
I was a bastard, I knew I was, but it was too late for me to change.
