It hit me like a punch to the gut, a weird, crazy-ass feeling coursing through my body and making my heart speed up so much I had to force myself to breathe. Goddamn, was I having a heart attack? That would just be my luck too: I finally get my shit together and then I die because of some bullshit or other because I drank too much and smoked even more.
I swallowed some of my beer and tried to calm myself down because my blood felt like it was running through my veins at a hundred miles an hour and was about to blast itself free from my chest, sending splinters of bone and muscle in all directions.
I looked around, feeling panicked and anxious. And fuck me, I needed Laney. I needed Laney right the fuck now! Because when all the rage and the panic built up inside me like this, she was the only one to bring me back down, to bring me to my senses.
Just as I thought it, she came out of the house and started walking over to me. Goddamn, she was a sight for sore eyes. Like a goddess she pulled me in, the warm glow of the fire pit dancing across her golden skin, her long legs, running for miles, and those tits that were just the perfect size for my hands.
But it was her smile and those deep dark eyes that hooked me the most. They lit up my dark world so I could see again, so all the anger and rage I normally felt melted away and left behind only the good—her.
She smiled as she got closer, sidling up to me and wrapping an arm around my waist. She looked up at me with concern, her smile faltering while she examined my features. And all I could do was stare like a teenage boy having a wet fucking dream, because this was my woman.
“Jesse?” she asked, a frown puckering between her eyebrows. She turned and looked at Casa. “What’s wrong with him? Did you give him something?” she accused.
I pulled her against me, one arm holding her tight, the other reaching up to wipe away the sweat from my forehead. “I’m fine, Lane’.” And I was fine. Now that she was there, my heart had started to slow back down to something more normal and my chest had stopped hurting.
“You don’t look fine.”
“Thanks a fuckin’ lot,” I replied with heavy sarcasm.
She batted at my chest. “You know what I mean. Why are you so sweaty?” she said, running a hand over my bare chest. Earlier I had taken off my tee and put my cut back on. Felt more naked without my cut on than if I was butt fucking naked.
“I was thinking about you, naked, spread-eagled across the kitchen counter with me between those beautiful thighs of yours,” I said, leaning down and taking her mouth.
She relaxed into me, her body softening and molding to mine. I kissed her hard, I kissed her soft, I kissed her any which way I damn pleased, because she was mine and no one could take that away from me.
After long minutes wrapped around one another, our mouths exploring each other’s, she pulled out of the kiss and looked up at me. Casa had fucked off at some point, and we were alone with each other. The party was in full swing all around us, but with my arms trapping her to me, we could have been on a different fucking planet for all either of us noticed. The fire danced in her eyes and I got lost in them.
Jesus Christ, I was turning into a pussy, but there was no way of stopping it.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice softer that time.
I nodded, sucking in my bottom lip and letting it out again. “Damn straight I am,” I replied. “Gonna need to go kick someone’s ass in a minute, though.”
Her eyes widened. “What? Why?”
“’Cause my dick is gonna turn into a pussy if I don’t. My brain’s thinking all rainbows and unicorns and shit instead of tits and ass. Fuckin’ weird shit going on in here,” I said, tapping the side of my head. “So if I can’t fuck you right now, then I need to spend this energy elsewhere!”
She burst out laughing and I looked at her seriously, because I was being fucking serious. It was no fucking joke. I rolled my shoulders and pulled away from her, though it pained me to do so, and then I looked around us to see who was outside, letting my mouth settle into a grim smile when I saw that Axle had just arrived. Brother was always looking for a fight.
“Axle,” I called loudly, my tone suggesting menace and making everyone stop what they were doing and turn to stare at me. Axle was facing the opposite direction but he turned slowly, already guessing what was on my mind. We’d been doing that for the past couple of years. What started out as him teaching me to contain my anger and use it more productively had ended with us now being an even match, which only made fighting with him that much better because we had no clue who was going to win.
Lord knows I was one angry motherfucker most of the time, but between Axle’s teaching and Laney’s pussy, I was softening and letting go of that anger. Wasn’t sure if it was a good thing, but when I looked at Hardy and saw how full of rage he was all the time, I knew it couldn’t be a bad thing to learn to at least control my temper.
“What up?” Axle called back, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stamping it out. Sick fuck was already cracking his knuckles in anticipation.
I leaned down and kissed my girl hard on the mouth and then I stepped away from her, needing to grow my balls back, even if they were blue right now. I rolled my shoulders as I stepped toward him, and he laughed and did the same.
“You sure you’re ready for this, Jesse?” he mocked, a wild gleam in his eyes. “Looks to me like you’re setting up home and turning pussy.”
“It’s you who should be worried, brother,” I said with a grin.
“You sure? I don’t want to go upsetting that old lady of yours when I rearrange your face. We all fucking know what bitches are like when they’re unhappy. Make everyone’s lives hell. I’m just trying to help you out some,” he joked while grabbing his long hair and tying it back from his face.
“You’re such an asshole, Axle!” River yelled and slapped his arm, but she might as well have been using a feather duster to tickle him, for all the difference it made.
“Why don’t you get your weak ass over here and find out how much of a pussy I am, brother?” I laughed, cracking my neck from side to side.
Around us people formed a circle and started taking bets, but I zoned them out in favor of the rush of adrenaline pumping through me. Axle and I circled each other, smirks on our faces and a gleam in our eyes.
