Chapter twenty:
3 months ago
Laney
I stood in the doorway watching Jesse and the rest of the Devil’s Highwaymen start unloading our furniture from the back of the truck. Nerves fluttered in my stomach every time I looked around our new home.
It was ours. Not his, not mine, but ours.
Hardy and Silvie had helped get us a good deal on the house, and Butch, Dom, and Cutter had worked on the repairs for us—of which a lot were needed. Charlie, River, and Rose had surprised me by painting the entire place from top to bottom after the repairs were completed, and Gauge had helped us out with money for new furniture because neither of us really had anything to our name.
It had been a real family affair, and one I was entirely grateful for. I had never really had a family before coming to live with Gauge. It had always been Mom and I and whatever “friend” was living with us at the time. I couldn’t say I had a bad upbringing, though—Mom had given me everything a little girl could ask for. She went to all my parents’ evenings, she helped me with homework, and she always made sure my clothes were clean, as was I. But nothing ever washed away the fact that everyone knew she was a whore. And as I got older, I had learned exactly how cruel both kids and their jealous moms could be.
But now there I was, with a group of people who treated me like I was their family—a daughter, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, and of course an old lady. I had it all for the first time in my life, and more than anything I was happy.
I watched Jesse and Gauge grab the new sofa from the bed of the truck and start carrying it across the lawn toward the house. Jesse had a hard look on his face, and sweat was glistening across his skin. God, he was gorgeous—even more so when he was sweaty and working hard like that.
I turned and walked inside as they reached the door. “Over here, please.”
“You sure you don’t want it by the back wall?” Gauge asked, nodding his head to the wall in question. “TV will look better over there, and you won’t get as much glare on the screen.”
“No, Gauge, I want it there. It’s not all about the TV, you know.”
“Maybe not for you, but a man wants to come home at the end of the day, drink a cold beer, watch some TV, and then fuck his old lady,” he replied bluntly.
“Oh, and your old lady likes getting fucked by you, does she?” I smarted.
“Might not have laid claim to a woman, but damn straight I fuck every night, you little bitch,” Gauge yelled back, his temper getting the better of him.
Jesse dropped his end of the sofa down. “Will you two shut the fuck up arguing already?”
“Fuck off!” both Gauge and I shouted at the same time.
Jesse stared at us, and I wondered whether he and Gauge were going to start a huge fight in my freshly decorated living room. There had been a time that I had worried Gauge could kick Jesse’s ass, but after seeing them fight previously, it was pretty obvious that they were evenly matched, despite Gauge’s experience and age. Now I worried more that they would beat each other to death rather than just senseless.
Men are idiots.
Jesse saw my pleading look and dragged a hand down his beard. He gave one last glare to Gauge and then stormed back out of the house, muttering something about crazy-ass family genes and hoping that our kids didn’t get them, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I looked over at Gauge as he put down his end of the sofa and sighed. He looked from me to the sofa and then pushed the small sofa against the wall like I had wanted. When he turned around I threw myself at him, my arms wrapping around his neck like a little spider monkey, and I buried my face into the crook of his neck. His body froze, his muscles stiffening as he tried to work out what to do, and I half thought he was going to throw me off him—because hugging wasn’t exactly our thing—but then all at once he softened and I felt his arms go around me as he hugged me back.
I was hugging Gauge—my father—for probably one of the first times ever, and it felt good.
We didn’t say anything to each other, probably because the usual bullshit would only come from both of us if we did, so instead we hugged in silence and I reveled in the scent of my father’s leather cut and his sweat wrapping around me comfortingly.
Jesse came back inside with Casa, both of them carrying the new mattress. He took one look at us and smiled and shook his head.
“Goddamn crazy running through their blood, that’s for damn sure,” he said to Casa as they carried the mattress upstairs.
“Can you imagine the fucked-up DNA you two will pass on to your brats?” Casa laughed, and I think Jesse told him to go fuck a goat and stop talking about kids.
I pulled out of the hug first and Gauge looked down at me. I had thought I’d gotten all of my coloring from my mom, but looking at him now, I could see that I got his looks too. Though his gray eyes were ghostly where mine were dark pools, our skin was a light brown and his hair was dark like mine. Gauge reached up and touched my cheek, his eyes capturing me and holding me hostage. My body trembled under his touch, because this wasn’t him, or us. We were hard and rough, we fought and we hated. We were never kind or gentle to one another. And that was okay, because at least I knew what to expect with that. I couldn’t be let down if I never hoped for anything more. I couldn’t hurt if I never let him get close. But this was different, now.
“You look so much like her sometimes it scares me,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “She’d be proud of you, kid,” he said, and then he lowered his hand and walked away.
I stared after him, a trembling feeling in the pit of my stomach and tears blurring my eyes. I wrapped my arms around myself and squeezed my eyes closed to stop myself from crying.
“See, Mom? Not all bikers are bad,” I whispered to her, hoping she could hear me, and hoping that Gauge was right and she would be proud of me.
“You okay?” Jesse asked.
