Chapter Nine:
1988
Laney
Time had lost all reasoning by the time Jesse pulled up to a small lake. The trees rustled in the light breeze, the night air still hot and sticky despite it being after two in the morning.
Jesse pulled the bike to a stop and then reached down and gave my knee a small squeeze again. I slowly unwrapped my arms from his waist and sat up straight.
“You okay?” he asked. “I think I might end up with handprints on my stomach from where you’ve been holding on,” he chuckled.
I blushed in the dark and climbed off, realizing how stiff my muscles had gotten after sitting on his bike for so long.
“Sorry about that,” I mumbled, embarrassed. I started to turn away and head to the lake when he grabbed my arm and tugged me back to face him.
His deep blue eyes burned into mine with an intensity that swallowed me whole. “Don’t ever be sorry for holding onto me, Laney. I wasn’t complaining.”
His tongue darted out to lick his lips and I watched the small movement, my gaze transfixed, and my own mouth desperate to feel his lips pressed against mine. I swallowed and looked away.
Was I imagining the way he was looking at me? Or was he feeling the same thing that I was? I couldn’t decide if it was real, or if I was just becoming infatuated with the man that I couldn’t have. I had sworn to my mom that I wouldn’t date a biker, and a biker from my dad’s club was a definite no-no. But there was something about Jesse—something different. Something I couldn’t help but think my mom would approve of in some small way.
He seemed just as broken and lost as me. And I wondered if we would fit together like a jigsaw if we tried. Because sometimes, two lost pieces are just made for each other, regardless that they weren’t from the same place.
Jesse stood up and took my hand in his, and then he guided me down to the lake’s edge and pulled me down to sit with him. There was no reason for him to hold my hand, but he held it all the same, and the butterflies in my stomach grew more restless the longer he held it. We sat and stared out at the silent water, watching the small ripples move across the surface, the moon the only light.
I was calm sitting there with him, calmer than I’d felt in a long time. Anger and sadness normally gripped me, squeezing my heart and making me lash out at anyone within hitting distance—normally Gauge. But there with Jesse there was none of that—just a comfortable and blissful silence that sat between us. I mean, sure, my heart was thumping in my chest and I was having trouble breathing at a normal rate—he was a gorgeous biker, after all—but despite the lust that traveled through my body, I was peaceful.
The night air was still and humid, and I pulled off my small jacket, feeling hot. I folded it and laid it on the ground behind me, and then I lay back to stare up at the sky. A second later Jesse lay back too.
Above us was an expanse of black sky, dotted with thousands of stars, and we watched it silently, our bodies so close that I could feel the heat radiating from him. His thick thigh was pressed against mine, his arm so close that when I stretched my fingers out to find his, we locked hands almost instantly. There was a spark between us, a magnetism that I couldn’t deny, and I hoped to God that he felt it too because it would be a damn shame if not.
His hand squeezed mine as if he was reading my thoughts, and I smiled up at the sky—the first genuine smile I’d had in a long time.
How could this man, that I knew so very little of, make me feel like this?
I turned my head to look at him, and found that he was already looking at me, and I felt heat crawl up my cheeks. Even in the dark his eyes shone out like blue beacons, drawing me in and pulling me home.
Jesse leaned up on one arm and stared down at me, pausing for several seconds as if deciding on something. It was a long moment as the silence encompassed us and I get lost in his blue eyes, and then he sighed heavily, one hand reaching out to tuck some of my hair behind my ear. My breath caught in my throat as his hand skimmed my face, and then I watched as his tongue darted out to wet his lips once more. My own mouth opened so I could take a breath because I was pretty sure I wasn’t breathing properly anymore, my chest heaving up and down as he stared at me and I grew more and more intoxicated in him.
“Fuck it,” Jesse mumbled, and then his hand tangled in my hair and he leaned over further before pressing his mouth to mine.
I stiffened at first, the kiss harder and more brutal than I expected, but then I relented, giving in to the heat that flared inside of me as it came to life.
His fingers gripped tightly to my long hair as I opened my mouth to him, letting his tongue invade me, and I groaned, the sound coming from somewhere deep and primal inside me as my body clenched in desire and need for him. It seemed to spur him on as he gripped me harder, the heat from him pouring over my body. But it wasn’t enough—for either of us.
I needed more of Jesse: I needed all of him. I needed everything, and I reached up with both hands and wrapped them around his neck and pulled him closer until his entire body was covering mine like a thick blanket of male dominance, his masculine scent washing over me and making me shiver. His thigh pushed between mine, spreading my legs wide and letting him press his body closer to me. The hardness between his legs dug into my most sensitive area and made me gasp as he ground his hips against me.
I bucked against him, wanting more. No, needing it. But as soon as I did he rolled off of me, settling on his knees, and dragged both his hands through his hair. I looked over, hurt flashing on my face before I could cover it.
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked.
Of course you did; you misread the signals. You’re not good enough for him. He can have any woman he wants, so why would he want you?The little voice inside me mocked.
Jesse reached out, his hand cupping the side of my face. “Fuck no, you did everything right. It’s me, I ain’t good enough for you. I don’t want to spoil you.” His thumb trailed down the side of my face, and even that small movement—combined with his heated words—sent shivers through my body. “I want you to live a little before you come into my world. Have fun, make mistakes, and then when the time is right, I’ll be here. Waiting.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. It was both the stupidest and sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me.
“Jesse, I’m a big girl, I can handle this—whatever it is. One night with you is fine. I know how you bikers work,” I said. I was lying through my teeth, though. I couldn’t handle one night with him. One night with him would be like achieving ecstasy and then never having it again. I would be forever ruined for other men, constantly craving the high that only Jesse could give me.
