“He’shad alot to deal with, Jolie,” Gauge said, and he sounded almost apologetic about it. Like he knew that Iwould be angry at him for saying that, but he had to say it because he understood Dom in away that Ijust simply didn’t. Ibit back my bitchy response and took adeep breath before Ispoke again.
“We’ve all had alot to deal with, and we all dealt with it in our own way. But no matter what happens, when family needs you, you go to them. That’swhat family is. That’swhat family does!” Irealized far too late that Iwas getting upset, but it really was too late. The tears were brimming in my eyes, and no matter how hard an expression Itried to put on, there was no hiding the sadness in me. Not anymore. Ihad been hiding it for so long that Ihad almost forgotten what it felt like to show it. To live and breathe it. To accept it for what it was and not see it as just aweakness.
“Ijust…” The words were lodged in my throat, choking me. “Jesus,” Isaid, getting annoyed with myself. “What is wrong with me?”
Gauge leaned over unexpectedly and pulled me against him. Istiffened and then melted in amovement that caught us both by surprise. The arm of the chair was digging into my side and Gauge must have realized because he reached around, pulling my chair so that it faced his, making it so that Icould lean into his body more comfortably. Icouldn’texplain what was happening or why it was happening. Maybe Iwas too tired to fight it anymore, or maybe Iwas too tired from fighting everything and everyone, but Isuddenly just really needed to be held and not be judged.
“I’mnot going to cry or anything,” Imumbled as Ipressed my face against his hard chest. “You don’thave to worry.”
“Good,” he replied. “Don’twant you gettin’ my cut wet.”
Ilet out ashaky laugh. “When our dad died, we all fell apart. Dom joined the MC, Danton joined the army, and Marcel got mixed up in drugs. It only left Louie and me, and Ithink he saw it as his opportunity to be head of the house. But, as you’re now aware, he doesn’thave the people skills for that role.”
We both laughed at that, because it was the honest to God truth. Louie might have been able to charm the kids at school, but in this family no one respected his methods.
Isighed. “Imean, it makes me sad by how broken my family is, but it is what it is, right?” Iwas willing myself to get afucking grip. Iwould not cry on this man. Ijust wouldn’t. Icouldn't! Iwas better than that. Stronger than that. And crying on him would be the most pathetic thing Ihad ever done. And Ihad done many pathetic things.
“Nah, Idisagree,” he replied gruffly, and when Ilooked up, his lips were just centimeters from mine. “Jolie,” he said, reaching under my chin and tugging my face up closer to his, “you should never just accept what you don’twant to. You fight for what you want, or you don’t. That decision lies with you alone. You can always have more, have better, or have something completely different, if that’swhat you want. You’re the maker of your own destiny, babe. Seize the fuckin’ day an’ all that.”
Ifelt weak at the knees.
Literally weak at the knees, and it made me feel sick with how pathetically weak at the knees Ifelt, but there it was all the same. No one had ever spoken to me like that. Like Imattered. Like Ihad achoice. And yet this man—the bullish, brutish, tattooed man had just called me out on my typical bullshit response and told me to seize the fucking day.
Size the fucking day!
Iswallowed.
His breath washed over me.
My chest rose and fell and my synapses snapped and fired out an electrical charge that would have given Thor arun for his money. God, what was happening to me?
“Jolie,” Gauge said, his tone awarning like he could read my mind. His gaze dropped to my mouth, and that was all the acknowledgment that Ineeded.
Imoved over to him, climbing onto his lap and straddling him so Icould wrap my body around his.
“Jolie,” Gauge warned again as he held his arms out wide so he wasn’ttouching me. But we both knew Iwas beyond awarning. “Ican’t,” he said.
He couldn’t, but Icould. And Iwould.
Iwanted to kiss him, despite my anger at everything he represented. Ihated the way my breath came in needy gasps, the way my hands crawled up the sides of his neck to thread into his hair. Ihated that in that moment, Ineeded him.
Iheld his gaze and he didn’tmove or flinch, he just stayed there, still and patient, asmall tug between his eyebrows as he watched me, and then Ileaned in and pressed my lips to his in amove like he had done earlier. His body and mouth were stone at first, completely unresponsive to my touch, but Ifelt the exact moment that he let go. It was when Ireached between us, pressing my hand against his rapidly hardening length.
“Fuck,” he groaned against my lips, his mouth opening to me, and that was all it took to push my tongue inside and begin kissing him—reallykissing him, like he had done to me in the kitchen.
His arms wrapped around me as Irubbed him harder, gripping his length through the thick denim of his jeans, and when he tried to push me away, Idug my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, burying them in the thick lengths and holding his mouth to mine.
And then he gave in and kissed me back.
He kissed me hard, bruising my mouth with his brutal kiss. My chest rose and fell, my nipples hardening against the thin fabric of my top. The strap of my tank top slipped down and his hand reached between us and slipped it all the way down, moving to the other and doing the same so he could free my breasts. His large hand pawed them, the heat from his touch making me feel scorched.
He released my mouth, dropping his lips to my nipple and sucking it into the warmth of his mouth. Igroaned as his tongue lapped over the hardened nub, my body tingling as Iground myself against his hard length, feeling the friction of our bodies hitting just where we both needed it to. With my head thrown back and his tongue swirling around my nipple, Iwhimpered into the air, soft tingles shooting up through my core.
Gauge grabbed my hips and pushed me back and forth on his lap harder and harder. He released my nipple with asoft pop and then sought out my lips again, his mouth colliding with mine in afrenzy.
My body was building toward an orgasm and Ihadn’teven taken off my pants, yet for some reason it didn’tseem to matter to either of us. He thrust me back and forth harder and harder, faster and faster, our bodies grinding against one another and causing the most wonderful friction. Unbelievable and mind-blowing pleasure began to tighten at my core, making me whimper against his mouth. Ifelt wild and untamed. My hands wanted to claw at him, push and pull at him. Iwondered what it would feel like to take him into me, to feel his hard, heated length sinking deep inside of me so he could fuck me raw. Yet Iknew there was no way to stop now. Iwas too close. We were too close.
Iwhimpered again, but it was different from the normal whimpers I’dmade before, and if Ihadn’tbeen so caught up in the moment Iwould have been startled. This noise was feral and freer somehow. Gauge’sbeard scratched along my face as he kissed along my jawline and then down to my throat, leaving it wet from his tongue and red raw from his bristles. Itook over our movements, grinding on his lap over and over so he could hold my face in his too large hands and kiss me. Iloved the feel of his hands on me, my hair trapped by his fingers as he surged upwards, carrying us both toward something inexplicable. Something neither of us had been expecting when we’dwoken up that morning.
