GAUGE
Iwoke with alow groan, pain humming through my body thanks to the many run-ins with the Vipers I’dhad. Belle had prescribed me some lower-dose pain meds, knowing how reluctant Iwas to take anything to curb the pain, but even those Iwas hesitant to take for fear I’dend up like Rider. Yet now, on my own in the dark, with my muscles and bones aching to their very core, my resolve was wavering.
The fact that Ihad fallen asleep at the foot of Jolie’sbed hadn’thelped with the pain either.
Standing up slowly, Istretched, hearing the satisfying crunch and pop of my bones. Ichecked my bandages, happy to see the stitches had held. Then Ichecked my cell, noting that it was alittle after four a.m., and Iwas relieved to see that the messages I’dreceived from the club hadn’tbeen anything of importance. The Vipers had gone underground, it seemed—at least for the time being.
The floorboards were silent as Iwalked across Jolie’sroom, sparing her aquick glance before Ileft and headed down the narrow stairs. Outside the air was cool and it did the trick of waking up my tired body. Max and Thomas were outside, and Iwas glad to see them both awake and alert. Max was sitting on his bike, acigarette perched between his lips and abook in his hands. He had one eye closed to stop the smoke from going up into it as he stared at the book in his hand. When he noticed me, he stood up, slipping the book into the inside pocket of his cut.
Iheld out ahand and he shook it and Igave acursory nod toward Thomas. Max had been with us for awhile and he was close to patching in. Thomas, on the other hand, still had aways to go. Along ways.
“Anythin’?” Iasked, pulling out my smokes and lighting one.
Max shook his head and threw his cigarette to the ground. “Nah, nothing. Those fools wouldn’tbe stupid enough to try anything after what we did to them at the boatyard.” He snickered and Inodded in agreement.
“That’swhat I’mthinkin’ too, but just in case we need to stick around for aday or two. The Vipers aren’tlike other clubs. The things that went on on that boat”—Isucked in through my teeth and shook my head—“it wasn’tright. And whatever goes down in the next couple a’ days, we gotta put an end to that shit.”
“Heard they had some girls locked up,” Thomas said, and Iturned to glare at him still sitting down on his bike like the disrespectful motherfucker he was. “Poor things must have been so scared, huh?”
“Shut your fuckin’ mouth and get up off your ass or I’ll have you cleaning the mud from my bike'stread for the next month!” Ibarked at him, and his round eyes went even more rounded. “Learn your place.”
Thomas nodded quickly, stood up, and began pacing. He kept his gaze away from mine and Ihoped it wasn’tbecause he was close to crying. Thomas was agood kid—too good for this life that was for sure—but he was determined, I’dgive him that. No matter what Isaid or did to him, he never rose to the bait. And believe me, I’ddone alot of shit to that kid to harden him up. That could be agood thing or abad thing. At the moment it was agood thing, because Ineeded aguard dog, not someone who wanted to argue with me.
When Ilooked back at Max, he was watching me carefully. I’donly recently started treating him with an ounce of respect, and he was still adjusting to it. It threw him off balance, but Ifigured he’ddone his time as alowly prospect and it was time for him to reap his rewards. Soon enough anyway.
Max was coming up to twenty, and would be one of the youngest if he patched in, and despite areal rocky start, he’ddone good the past few months. He was young, lean with sinewy muscles that stretched up his torso and arms, and he always wore his dark curly hair in astupid little bun. He wasn’tthe brightest but he wasn’tthe dumbest either, and what he lacked in brains he made up for in reckless daring. Kid was fucking nuts when it came to anything high octane, and Iwas looking forward to seeing what he could do over the years. It wouldn’tbe dull, whatever it was.
Ifinished my cigarette and threw it to the ground. “All right, I’mheading back in. Beefcake said he was sending down two of his prospects in the morning to relieve you both, so I’ll likely see you tomorrow night. Keep me up to date with anything.”
Max sat back down on his bike and started to read again. Iturned and left, heading back inside, grateful that Iwasn’taprospect anymore. When Iclosed the door quietly behind me, Iwent through to the kitchen, double-checking the doors and windows. On the kitchen counter were two overfilled plates of food covered by some saran wrap with anote written in French next to them. My stomach grumbled, reminding me that Ihadn’teaten, but Ididn’twant to take anything without checking in case Jolie caught more shit for bringing me back there. Ieyed the plate of food hungrily but somehow resisted tearing into it, instead heading back upstairs to Jolie’sbedroom.
Inside, Itook my place at the foot of her bed again, my arms folded across my chest, and Iwas close to falling back to sleep when she started mumbling in her sleep. Iturned to look at her shadowed form in the dark, seeing that her movements were becoming increasingly erratic and her mumbles growing louder as she battled whatever, or whoever, it was in her dreams. Ithought of the boat yesterday, of the girl I’dfound and the others Iknew Shooter and Dom had found and helped get somewhere safe. Ithought of Jolie in the pink baby doll dress, and despite that it should have turned me on something fierce thinking about her in that skimpy outfit, all it did was make me angry. Whatever had happened to her on that boat, Ihoped she could get over it.
Eventually her thrashing startled her awake, and Iheard her sit up with asudden gasp. There was no way in hell that she would want me to know that she’dhad abad dream, so Ikept my eyes closed and my body perfectly still. In the silence of the night Icould make out her every movement. Iheard how scared she sounded with every panting breath and every bitten-back whimper. Every noise made the pain in my body fade and my knuckles itch to hit something for her.
Iheard her crawl to the end of her bed, her movements growing closer to me. The thought that she might kill me in my sleep was apassing thought, right before her breathing grew soft once more and she fell back to sleep. When Idecided to take achance to move, Iturned slowly, finding her as I’dassumed her to be, at the end of the bed. Closer to me, where she knew I’dkeep her safe.
Her covers were thrown back, and there was something about the way her body was curled up on its side, her long hair splayed over her olive-skinned back, that made me reach out, astrange desire to touch her running through me. But at the last moment Ipulled back.
She wasn’tmine to touch.
She wasn’tmine to want.
Because she most certainly wasn’tmine, and never would be.
When Iwoke up the next time, it was to Jolie talking at her doorway, the light from the hallway spilling into the room. Istretched, and she looked around at me and then continued her conversation with whoever was there. It couldn’thave been her mom, because first, neither of them were shouting, and second, Jolie was talking in English, though Icouldn’tmake out what she was saying.
Ireached for my cigarettes just as she closed the door again before padding across the room toward her bed.
“Go back to sleep,” she groaned as she lay back down and pulled the covers over herself.
Istood up, checking the time and noting that it was past nine already. “Need asmoke,” Igrunted, heading toward the door.
Iheard her shuffle, around and when Ilooked back she was sitting up and staring at me like Ihad two heads. Her hair was disheveled around her shoulders and she was staring at me incredulously.
“What’sthat look for?” Igrunted, my unlit cigarette between my fingers.
“You!”
