When we pulled apart it was only because the sound of Danton and Louie arguing in the kitchen again was too loud to ignore.
Staring deep into Gauge’seyes, Ifelt like Iwas seeing someone different. Not the hateful man Ihad come to know, but someone more. He believed in me. He saw me. And sometimes he made me feel vulnerable. Far too vulnerable.
That man could break me.
My heart, my body, my soul.
I’dspent so long building up my walls, and he had dismantled almost every single one of them with acocky grin, alazy drawl, and abody that could take me to places Inever knew existed.
Ireached up and placed ahand on his cheek, the rough bristles of his beard scratchy against my palm. He leaned in, pressing akiss to my mouth, and Iwelcomed him once more, stroking my tongue along his, taking his breath, biting his lip, licking my tongue along his teeth. Tasting him, breathing him in.
Something smashed inside the house, and Ilaughed and pulled out of the kiss for asecond time.
“Ishould go tear them apart before they kill each other,” Isaid, stepping back from him. It was either that or Iclimb his body and let him take me there against the side of the house. As much as my mom liked him, she definitely wouldn’tlike him if she got firsthand footage of the things we did together.
Gauge was still looking at me with that look that Iloved. The one that said he didn’tgive adamn what anyone thought. That if he wanted to take me there and then, he damn well would. It was kinda nice having someone be as bossy as me for achange. Someone that would take charge so Ididn'talways have to be. Not that I’dever tell him that.
“Go,” Isaid, pushing him out through the gate. “Let me get my work done and then I’ll get Danton to drop me off at the clubhouse.”
Gauge smirked and started to walk away. “You think Idon’tknow why you’re pushing me out like this, Jolie?”
He strode toward his bike, pulling his cigarettes out of his cut pocket and lighting one.
“Oh yeah, and why’sthat?” God, he was so arrogant, it was disgusting.
He straddled his bike and started it up, the throaty roar of it filling the calm air. Mom’sneighbors did not like Gauge or his bike, though we hadn’texactly been the quietest house on the block prior to him coming into our lives.
Gauge smirked and took adeep inhale of his cigarette. “You can’tresist me, babe.”
Irolled my eyes. “Right. Because you’re so irresistible. You’re lucky Istill want your old ass, Gauge.”
“Less of the old, babe,” he grumbled, his cocky façade slipping as he took another drag of his cigarette.
“Don’tpout, Grandad,” Ilaughed.
“You’re laughin’ now, but you won’tbe later on.” He winked—actually winked at me. “I’ll make sure that mouth is too filled up to laugh at anything.”
“You’re disgusting. You know that, right?”
“It’sone of the things you love about me, babe,” he retorted, and Irolled my eyes at him—because he was right, but Iwasn’tabout to admit it. He took another drag on his cigarette and threw it to the ground before pulling his helmet on.
“Get going, Gauge.” Icocked my hip out and shook my head.
Gauge chuckled and Iwatched him ride away. Whatever this thing was between us was good. Real good. Ididn’twant to think about next week or the week after that; Ionly wanted to think about the here and now. And right now, it was as good as it had ever been for me.
Whatever came next, Iwas ready for it. Iknew Iwas strong enough to take it on, good or bad. Ihad my brothers back and Ihad Gauge by my side, but if it all fell apart again, Iat least knew that Icould get it back. That it could all come back to this once more.
Iwas raised to believe that family was made up of love, but Iknew now that was exactly true. Family was made up of love, hate, and everything in between. It was built from the complicated stuff just as much as the simple stuff. It was made up of tears and pain and grief and all the fucked-up things that can destroy you. And yes, it was also made up of love. That was its foundation. Family was forever, no matter how far away you drifted from its shore. There would always be atow rope so you could be pulled back in.
So long as you had the foundation of anoisy house full of love and fighting, everything would work out in the end. You’dfind your way back.
Iturned and headed back inside my home, the arguing of my family filling my ears and making my smile grow even bigger.
