Or resignation to our fates.
Katya: I only have a moment. My mother is checking on me every few minutes. I’m fine. But are you okay? I’m so sorry.
Nik: Why are you sorry? I’m the idiot who crashed your dinner, I should have known I wasn’t invited.
Katya: Nik… stop joking around. Are you okay?She asked again, not accepting my thin attempt at humor.
Nik: No, I’m not okay.I told her the truth now, not holding back.I love you, Katya. I fucking love you, and this entire situation is bullshit. I know I’m not good enough for you. I know that. But Viktor is the worst kind of man. Your parents have to know that.
Katya: I don’t think they care anymore, Nik. And I can’t blame them. I’ve embarrassed them so much over the years. I’ve pushed their patience. And we’ve been unforgivable.
Nik: Unforgivable? We love each other, Katya. We fucking love each other. If they can’t see that, if they can’t accept that, then to hell with them.
How could love be unforgivable?
How could something so pure, be so hated?
Katya: Stop, Nik.
Nik: Never.
Katya: You have to, because I’m marrying Viktor tomorrow morning. By nine, I’ll be his wife and you and me will just be… something that happened in the past. A fling and nothing more.
Nik: Don’t give up, Katya.
God don’t call us a fling. Don’t cheapen it...
Katya: I have to. Or else I won’t survive, and neither will you.
Nik: There has to be another way.
Katya: Goodbye, Nik. I’m so glad we were together. I’m so glad I can carry the memory of being with you, so glad to know what it’s like to really love someone.
Nik: I’ll figure this out, Katya. I promise you.
Katya: Don’t make promises, Nik. I need to go. My parents are arguing in the other room, but they won’t leave me alone for long. Just remember that we’re lucky, Nik. We’re lucky to have loved.
“And lost,” I murmured, a sharp pang shooting through my chest.
I held the phone with its cracked screen and for the first time in my life, I felt tears well up in my eyes. There had to be a way to make this right, had to be a way to save Katya from a loveless, abusive marriage and… save myself from losing her. Because I knew, in this moment as tears slipped down my scruffy face, that if I lost Katya, then my entire life was going to spin upside down.
I wouldn’t be able to stay in the family and continue to be a loyal soldier. My life with them all was over because if Viktor saw me again, I was dead.
Hell, if I were honest with myself, Eduard should have let Viktor put a bullet in my brain today. If I had been any other soldier, he wouldn’t have stood in the line of fire. He wouldn’t have defended me. Protected me.
I hadn’t just lost Katya today.
I had lost a father figure and likely my best friend too.
Everything I had ever known was gone.
I walked into what used to be Katya’s bedroom and tossed the phone onto the comforter, then dropped down onto the mattress roughly, body bouncing and jarring my vision.
I stared at the ceiling, unblinking, as the tears dried along my bloodied skin, salt adding to the bruises. At some point, I dozed off into a restless sleep full of dark, brutal dreams.
*
When I woke, the scent of dried blood hit me first. I sat up, back stiff and a dull headache thudding over my right eye. Standing, I walked to the sliding glass doors. The sun had crept above the horizon, sending tendrils of pink rioting across the sky. The patio door guards had taken up residence on the pool lounge chairs. They looked asleep. Now could be my chance. If I could leave the condo, find somewhere to hole up until the ceremony in a few hours, then I might discover a way to steal Katya away. We’d head straight for the docks. We’d take theOcean Darlingagain, assuming the engine was fixed. If not, another boat.
