My hand went instinctively to my stomach again; the pain was awful. Every move I made sent pain through me. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t stretch. I couldn’t walk without the pain threading through my spine. My gaze dropped to the bottle in my hands and I wondered how much pain he’d put Beast through to make him so hard. I’d seen the scars, I’d tended to his wounds, but the pain…God, the pain must have been incredible, and yet he was still here. He just got on with it. He just dealt with it. I was spineless and pathetic, I realized. A couple of threats and a punch to the stomach and I was ready to turn on him.
I looked over at his door, wishing that I could be strong like him, but knowing that I’d never be as good as him.
Chapter Ten
~ Belle ~
“I haven’t seen you in two weeks, Belle,” Lorenzo complained, his usually soft expression now hard and unforgiving.
I’d gotten home and he’d been parked outside in a sleek black car I hadn’t seen before. It was all I could do to not have a heart attack at him being there. If his brothers turned up… God, what would they do to him? They’d warned me not to get him involved.
Lorenzo had asked to come inside, but there was no way that was happening. Besides, my trailer was a sty because I’d barely been there since having to work over at the clubhouse every day, and when I was there, I was sleeping. Lorenzo had offered to take me for a drive in his car so we could talk, and now there we were, parked up at Ridgemont Crest and looking over the city like a couple of kids on a date. It was so far away from where we were at now.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m just busy,” I said apologetically.
He looked at me strangely. A hard expression in his eyes only softened by the way his hand reached for mine and his thumb stroked across it. “I know you’re still working for them, Belle. Please don’t lie to me and treat me like an idiot.”
I closed my eyes, the guilt too much. I hadn’t exactly lied to him, but I had hidden the truth. It was a sort of gray lie, I guess. Not quite white through and through.
“I just didn’t want you to be mad, Lorenzo.” I opened my eyes and looked at him. “I needed the money and they needed a nurse; it’s nothing more than that.”
“It is if you’re still fucking him,” he bit out, harsher than I’d ever heard him speak before.
“I’m not!” I replied quickly to reassure him.
“But you were,” he said almost too calmly. I’d wondered when this would come up. After Beast let it slip at the hospital, every phone call with Lorenzo had been awkward as I waited for him to say something, but he hadn’t, and I’d hoped that he never would.
I swallowed. “It was just the once.”
“The night after I fucked you.” His eyes narrowed, the warmth gone from his usually soft features.
I looked away sharply, not liking the tone to his voice. I wanted to pull my hand out from under his but didn’t want to provoke him further, and he must have sensed that because he tightened his grip on me.
“I’m sorry, Belle, that was crude of me. I’m just a man, though, and it’s been eating me up inside thinking of you with him, especially after how special our night had been.” He reached out and touched the side of my face, pulling gently on my chin to make me look at him. His eyes searched mine for something and he sighed, obviously not finding it. “You can’t really blame me for being angry, can you? You understand that at least?”
“I’m so sorry,” I said, already knowing the words were pitiful and not enough to make up for what I’d done. “It wasn’t planned; it just sort of happened. But I promise it hasn’t happened since and it won’t. Not ever again.”
Something flickered in his eyes. Jealousy or anger, perhaps. Or maybe both. I couldn’t even blame him. If things had been reversed, I would have felt the same way. It didn’t matter that we hadn’t declared ourselves an item; I’d still betrayed him.
“I thought we had something special,” he said, frowning.
“We do!” I insisted, my eyes pleading with him to believe me.
“Really?”
I nodded, desperate for him to know how sorry I was and how much I cared for him. His hand dropped from my chin and he leaned in, and at first I thought he was going to spit in my face or say something awful to me. The look of menace was so rich in his eyes that it frightened me, and I pulled away. Lorenzo reached for me again, his hand cupping around the back of my head as he brought his mouth to mine, kissing me hard and surprising the hell out of me. Our teeth clashed as I kissed him back, desperate for his forgiveness. Desperate for his love.
“You are mine, Belle,” he said between kisses, and I paused, suddenly unsure of where this was going.
His kisses were deep and passionate and full of longing, but all I could give back was half-hearted attempts that in no way made up for what I’d done. How had my life come to this? How had I managed to disappoint everyone and mess everything up so badly? It was suddenly too much, and I felt the salty tears sliding out of my eyes and down my cheeks. The tears mingled with our kisses and spurred Lorenzo on, making him seem almost famished for more.
Muttering in Italian, he pulled out of the kiss, his eyes straying over my wet cheeks and his tongue darting across his lips.
“Come here, Belle, come here,” he coaxed gently as his hands moved to unbuckle his suit pants.
But I didn’t want to have sex—not right then, not like that. I wanted to go home and sleep. I wanted to drink until I passed out. I wanted to drive to the ocean and lie on my back, floating in the cool waves until my head felt clearer and all the stuff that was hurting me just drifted away.
“Belle,” he said, his voice more forceful. “Show me how sorry you truly are.”
