And I didn’t. In many ways I detested Beast. He was an awful man.—he was the exact opposite of Lorenzo and everything that I looked for in a person—but in that moment I felt more connected to him than I had to Lorenzo the night before. But could I ever accept the things that he’d done? Could I ever be with a man like Beast? Trust him with my heart and my soul?
As if getting his answer, I watched his expression harden, violence swimming behind they gray in his eyes. “I think you know what you want, you just don’t want to admit it.”
Maybe he was right.
Maybe I did know what I wanted, but I was too scared of wanting it.
But I didn’t get chance to say any of that. Beast thought I’d already made up my mind. He pushed me from his lap and I stumbled to stand.
“You look tired, Belle. Your little fuckboy keep you up all night?” he said, his expression hardening further.
I sighed and shook my head. Why did he always do that? Why did he always ruin every nice moment between us? Between anyone?
“I’m not talking to you about this,” I said, and started to walk away.
“I see you walking with a limp. Yeah, he fucked you good, didn’t he?” He reached out and grabbed my arm before sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. “Or maybe it was taking two dicks in one day that’s given you that limp, Belle. You know, if this nursing shit doesn’t work out for you, I can get you a job over at the club servicing the boys.”
I snatched my arm out from his fierce grip, sickness rolling through me at his words. He thought of me as a whore. That’s what he’d reduced me to. Tears brimmed in my eyes as the hurt rolled through me in waves, from shock to despair to sadness, and finally shame.
He laughed, darkness in every chuckle he gave. “Come here, Belle, let me lick those tears away and then you can suck my cock afterwards. I’ll pay you fifty bucks if you suck my balls too.”
Tears streamed down my face. “Stop it,” I begged, heartbroken and disgusted with him and myself.
“That’s not what you were saying downstairs, and I bet that’s not what you were saying last night either,” he sneered. “Sure hope you fucking showered before you climbed on top of me, bitch. Don’t wanna go catching some nasty skank disease from you.”
I choked on a sob, praying that some part of the man I’d seen earlier would come back to me, but he was gone. I shook my head and swiped away the tears from my cheeks.
“I’ll go get Joey to help you back to your room.” I started to walk away from him.
“You and Joey getting close, huh? You gonna fuck him too, Belle?” he growled, sounding more like a jealous boyfriend than a fierce biker.
I swung back to face him, hands on my hips. “I’m done. I’m so done. With you, with this, with everything!” I found myself yelling by the time I got to the end of my sentence. “You can’t go around hurting people like this, Beast! What is wrong with you?”
He leaned forward in his chair, his eyes cold and hard. “Don’t you know, Belle, I’m a motherfuckin’ beast and beasts can’t be tamed.” He looked me up and down with like he was disgusted with himself for ever having sex with me. “Tell the prospect to bring me a hit,” he growled out, disappointing me in so many ways.
“Fine,” I snapped with a shake of my head as I backed away. “But you know what? I’m done. Find yourself a new nurse.”
“You’re not done till I tell you you’re done,” he snarled.
I kept on walking, ignoring his protests behind me.
“Since I pay your wages, does that make you my whore now?” he yelled out behind me, and I choked on another sob.
Joey opened the door as I got there, looking between me and Beast cautiously.
“Can you get him back to his room on your own?”
He nodded. “Yeah, no problem.”
“And tell Shooter that Beast is someone else’s problem now.”
“You okay?” he asked, his gaze going behind me to Beast, who was still yelling, and then back to me. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” His features hardened.
“Not physically,” I said, “but he’s broken my heart because he doesn’t have a heart himself.” And then I left.
Chapter Eighteen
~ Beast ~
