Elijah pulled into his motel’s parking lot and shut off the engine. He looked up towards his room and swallowed down the lump in his throat. His heart was beating heavily at the thought of leaving Delores here all alone. Even with Paul looking out for her, he knew she would feel that Elijah had abandoned her, and in a way he would be.
He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel in frustration.
Chapter Forty-Nine.
Delores
Delores wasn’t sure if anything was real anymore.
From somewhere across the room, the soft squeak of the door sounded out. The door clicked to, and footsteps moved across the room to her. She wondered, while she listened to the softbeep beepif it was Michael, though she decided against it almost immediately. His footsteps were sure and strong, confident verging on arrogant. She had liked that about him when they had married. She had always felt protected, safe while she was by his side. But over the years his confidence had taken its toll on her. His self-assuredness became irritating. She no longer felt safe with Michael, nor protected. She felt lost, drowning in confusion. She was a pliable piece of meat that he was moulding to his liking.
The footsteps were barely audible. Almost like a whisper against the linoleum.
A doctor, Delores decided. The doctor who was sending her away, despite the uncertainty that covered his face when he came to tell both her and Michael of his plans, his apologies quick and profuse.
“I’m sorry, I really think it’s the only option available to us.”
At least that’s what he had said, his words cut short as Michael ushered him out of the room before he could upset Delores anymore.
“I’m so sorry, it’s in your best interest.”
I’m sorry. The words mocked her. Everyone was sorry, even her. Yet apologies did nothing. Apologies couldn’t heal the misery she had produced or the evil she had committed. They couldn’t ease the suffering she had caused her children and poor Michael.
Poor Michael who would never forgive her. More so because she had failed him time and time again.
She was still here.
She was still breathing.
Alive.
Even though she didn’t deserve to be.
Though it wasn’t like she hadn’t tried. She had. Time and time again.
A breath of air moved next to her and brought her mind back to the present.
Her eyes continued to flutter behind her lids, but she kept them closed. Pressed shut against the world surrounding her, as if that would protect her.
“I know you’re awake,” his voice reached for her in the darkness. A hand squeezing her heart, stilling it. “I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I never meant for any of this.”
Sorry. There was that word again. As if an apology made any difference to her.
“Your husband is the real asshole here, you know? This is all his fault.”
Delores thought about that, but mostly she just wished he’d hurry up.
“I even thought, after finding out what Michael had been doing to you all these years, that this would all go away like a bad dream. He assured me he could control you. That a dose of his special concoction of happy pills would sort you right out, but you were just so damn inquisitive. Always poking around where you shouldn’t have been. That day at the pharmacy was the last straw. I knew once you’d seen us talking to Christine that you’d eventually put it all together and everything would all get fucked up for me.” His words were tinged with sincere sadness, a regrettable apology still poised in his tone. She almost felt sorry for him. “You kept your head about you, at least for a while, I’ll give you that. Michael was furious,” he laughed. “I think that was down to Elijah—you keeping your head about you for so long. He loves you, Delores, you know that? He really loves you. And it’s hard, you know. Because this is going to kill him too. I just thought you should know that before this all went away. Everyone deserves to know they’re loved.”
The voice sighed, as if knowing he’d talked for long enough. The beep in the background stopped as a machine was shut off.
“Keep your eyes closed. This will all be over in a minute, I promise.”
This.
Will.
All.
