Her words were true and heartfelt, because that was, after all, what she was doing. She was doing this out of love. A moment of insanity had changed everyone’s lives forever and an act of hate could only be forgiven with an act of love…an act of unselfishness.
Of total self-sacrifice.
Delores looked up through her lashes, seeing that Sally was still staring at her, “Yes, do it out of love for them,” Sally replied, feeling like she’d finally gotten through to Delores.
*
Back in her car, Delores rolled down all the windows. The air in the car was stuffy and humid, the car almost suffocating after sitting in the heat for so long. It was difficult to catch her breath. But then, she always struggled to breathe these days. Her pained heart was relentless, she was sure it only continued to throb in her chest as an aching reminder that she was alive, and others were not.
Her lungs though, they always resisted. The action of pulling air into them was a constant struggle. As if her lungs were trying to snuff out her life.
Her body was against her. And she couldn’t really blame it. Though she loathed herself much more than anyone else ever could. She turned the key, and the engine started with a roar. She watched, mesmerised for several moments as the attached keyring swung back and forth like a taunt. A reminder.
The sleek silver car was older than she was, and yet it ran as if it were brand new and rolling fresh out of the factory doors. Michael had loved this car, probably more than he had loved her. Which says a lot, because at one time he had loved her very much.
But then, love fades and dies, just like everything else in this world.
Love was as bad as hate, only twice as powerful, and even more vengeful.
Delores blinked, her eyelids feeling sluggish as she continued to watch the keyring swaying.
A lazy breeze drifted in through the open window, giving her a spilt second of fresh air, and allowing her a moment’s respite. She sucked it in greedily, the air travelling down her throat like ointment, soothing, gentle. Then she sighed heavily and pulled out of the diner’s parking lot and back on to the dusty road as humidity and guilt pressed back down on her.
Traffic was light. No one wanted to be out in this heat. Not unless they really had somewhere to go. Delores, however, did have somewhere to go and she was desperate to get there.
How many times had Michael and her put off this trip with different excuses? Too many times, that was how many. They were a busy family. With children and jobs filling their days. Long nights away with work had made Michael cranky over the years and their marriage wasn’t what it had once been. But she’d tried so hard to please him. So hard to be the woman and wife that he needed. She knew now that it was all futile.
She was never good enough for him. Would never be good enough for him.
She’d had the picture-perfect life; the beautiful children, the handsome husband, the house with the white picket fence, but it wasn’t enough to stop her own madness from creeping in. You couldn’t put off your own destiny.
And just like the inevitability of her downfall, she couldn’t put off this trip anymore.
Chapter Two
Sally
Sally stared after the woman as she drove away.
The shiny silver car reflected the sun off its hot metal roof. There was something in that woman’s eyes that haunted her, chilled her to the bone. She could see her crying as she drove; hell, she’d seen her falling apart piece by piece while she sipped on her coffee. That woman would haunt Sally for days.
It happened sometimes. Day in and day out, customers came and went, and most of the time they were merely a blur of faces, crude innuendoes and crappy tips. Dirty truckers with filthy mouths and bad teeth. Busy families with screaming children. Frustrated businessmen wanting to get home.
And then someone would come in, and they would have an energy about them that sucked the very life out of the room. And when they left they would leave a piece of their soul behind. This woman had done just that.
Only this time she hadn’t left a piece of her soul behind. One look in her eyes and Sally had seen that there was nothing left inside of her. Because yes, she could indeed see the torment in Delores’s soul. She’d been there, and she too had lived that pain.
Sally was thinking back to the days when her parents used to make her go to church every Sunday, way before she’d made bad decisions and had been cut off from everyone she had ever known. She’d hated going to church, it had felt like a lie because she didn’t really believe.
The Priest was always rambling on about seeing past yourself, and though she had hated attending church, those words had always stuck with her through everything.
“Sally, you’re off the clock.”
Sally looked up at Jackson. He was the manager of the little diner, and a grumpy asshole to boot. He was always hitting on her, constantly making sly, crude comments; he was as bad as the truckers that frequented the place. He knew she was single, knew that she had enough problems to deal with in her life right now, without his one-track mind to stress her out and make her hate this damned job even more than she already did. He also knew that she needed any overtime she could get, and as she fought his advances, he reminded her that he was in charge by not letting her have any extra shifts. Like today.
She scowled at him but didn’t argue. “Fine.”
He sneered, his expression leery as he pushed his hair back from his forehead. His protruding belly was straining against the buttons on his dirty work shirt as he shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and for a moment, he looked guilty. She cast him a glance as she passed, an attempt to show indifference.
