Elijah clutched the kitchen countertops and finally let his tears slide out.
He should have gone with her.
Chapter Sixteen
Delores
The rocky cliffs surrounding the Grand Canyon rose in the distance.
The earth and rocks were the color of burnt sienna with splashes of forest green. Delores’s head pounded with the heavy weight of anxiety and depression. The colossal tide of responsibility pressed upon her the closer she got. The road was smooth with year old tarmac. Her hands were fixed on the wheel, her eyes set on the sun glowing high in the sky as she sped through the desert, eager to arrive and to leave all in the same breath.
As a child, Delores had begged her father to bring her here but she’d been ignored. When she had met Michael and they had fallen in love, he had promised her that he’d bring her here. But the years had passed. The birth of a daughter. The birth of a son. And still this almost mythical place had eluded her.
Promises turned to dust and flew away in the wind, and much like all of her other childhood dreams, Delores had bid this final aspiration a sad farewell.
The Yavapai Lodge came into view, the large wood and stone building appearing in front of her like a welcome mat. She pulled to a stop in the car park out front and shut off the engine. The silence invaded her.
She took a moment to calm herself, to let the tide of panic relax before she picked up her purse from the floor of the car and Owen’s teddy bear from her lap. She climbed out.
The air smelled dusty and dry. Heat clung to the particles in the air, as she made her way to the small store so she could purchase a walker’s map and guide.
The door opened with ease, no tell-tale bell ringing out to alert the store owners. Inside there were already customers browsing. Delores avoided them at all costs, keeping her head down. She went to the large map stand by the counter and she turned it, noticing the small squeak as it went.
Squeak, squeak, squeak.
“You need any help?”
Delores looked up at the voice, seeing a larger woman, with thick black hair staring at her, a smile fixed upon her face.
Everyone always smiled at her when she stopped somewhere. They always wanted to help her. Sometimes she wanted to scream the truth in their faces, watch the looks of shock come to life as they learned the horrible things she’d done, and prove to them that she wasn’t worth their kindness.
“Map for the South Rim? You here with kids? Because some walks aren’t ideal for the little ones. But this one is.” The woman reached over, turning the stand around and making it squeak in its reluctance. “This is a wonderful walk. The Greenway trail has some beautiful views.”
The woman smiled helpfully. Delores nodded, taking the small map from her. In reality, it really didn’t matter which one. She just wanted to see it, any part of it, before she went away.
“Now one section of this trail is the designated Trail of Time walk and it has all sorts of things to interact with. It gives you a real sense of perspective,” the woman droned on, ringing up the price on the cash register and taking the cash that Delores handed to her without missing a beat. “Some are paved, some are not, so make sure you’re wearing comfy shoes. But this one leads right up to the rim and oh my, those views.” The woman put her hand on her heart and sighed playfully. “I’ve worked here a long time and I never can get over those views.” Her gaze skipped to the left to another customer and Delores was quickly forgotten about.
Delores made her way back outside, the small map clutched in her hand. Once outside, she opened it up and began to follow the simple map to the south rim of the Canyon. The day was half over and the Canyon was busy. She ignored the crowds of people and the chatter of voices and headed to the Rim to gaze out upon the view she’d always dreamed about.
Sweat trickled down her spine and her blouse stuck to her skin. Her hair was lank and clung to her neck making her feel claustrophobic, but it was all worth it once she reached the viewing platform.
It was crowded but she forced her way to the front. She gazed down upon the mile-deep wonder that she had dreamed about her entire life. Delores was panting, her breathing coming fast and hard, a strange combination of relief and distress.
It was beautiful. Almost unreal in its brilliance.
How could something so magnificent not be man-made? How could something so carved, and so pure in its beautiful madness, have been created by nothing but time, water, air and life?
The air was hot and thick, the sun relentless, but nothing mattered in this moment. She needed this, this one brief respite before the inevitable. Before she followed the final instructions to her inevitability. Because she’d no doubt be spending eternity in hell after what she’d done.
She closed her eyes, letting the sun beat down on her, drenching her skin in a warm blanket of protection. She tuned out the world around her.
When she opened her lids back up, her eyes stung with unshed tears. She turned and walked back the way she’d come. At the top of the trail she turned in the opposite direction, following the route across paved paths until she reached a small break where she slipped from the path and made her own trail.
Delores weaved between small green shrubs and orange rocks, the chatter of voices growing more and more distant until finally, blissfully, she was alone.
She looked back the way she had come, checking to be sure that she was completely out of eyeshot and then she sat down, pulling her knees up to her chest. The day was closing, finishing up in time for her to say goodbye.
The Canyon had been all that she had wanted and more, but there was no more hiding from her crime, from her wicked act. It was time to pay the price.
