The rage I normally feel, the anger that burns, the fury which grows, is nowhere to be seen. It’s just him and me. Just the calm in the center of the storm.
“I’ll have you expelled,” he snaps, reaching down to pull his pants back up. “You’ll never get into a college again!”
“You think I give a shit about being expelled, you rapist piece of shit!” I roar.
His bushy eyebrows furrow. “No,” he says with a shake of his head. “No, I didn’t rape anyone. She agreed to this.” He throws a hand in her direction, his gaze still on me.
“Here’s a fucking clue for you: if the woman is crying, she ain’t happy, so you get the fuck off her!” I’m going to beat him senseless, and then I’m going to snap his fucking neck.
He shakes his head again. “She wanted to get the grades!” he pleads. “It was her idea, not mine. She came to me, offering to drop her slutty little panties for an A.” His gaze flits to Patience, and something inside me snaps. How fucking dare he look at her after what he just did.
I charge forward, grabbing him around the waist and throwing him back over the desk he’d just been raping my girlfriend on. He stumbles and falls, the chair crashing down on top of him as I storm around it. He’s scrambling under the desk, his eyes wide as he tries to get away from me, but there’s no escaping me and my wrath.
I grab his ankles and drag him out, ignoring his yells and cries as he claws at the carpet to try to stop himself from being moved. I flip him onto his back and begin pummeling him with my fists. Blood gushes from his nose as I slam my fist into it again and again, pushing his hands away as he tries to protect himself.
“I will fucking kill you!” I roar in his face, the red mist of hate drowning me.
“Stop!” Patience screams. “Samuel, stop, please!” She grabs at me, and I push her away, only content with making this man suffer and pay for what he’s done. His cries fall on deaf ears. Nothing is stopping me from killing him. Fucking nothing. “He’s not worth it.”
But he is worth it. His death on my hands is worth everything. I roar as the fury envelopes me completely, wrapping me in its fiery embrace. I’m going to tear him apart, limb from limb.
I raise my fist high once more as Patience comes over again and grabs my arm. “Stop,” she begs on a scream. “Just stop, Sammy.”
I stumble from her words, Sabella’s pet name hitting me in the chest like someone’s thrown a rock against my heart. I gag and let my arm fall, my chest heaving with exertion as I stumble away from the dean. He’s a mess. A bloody, broken mess. As I move away from him, he staggers to his feet and runs from the room, leaving a bloody trail behind him.
Patience stands behind me, her entire body trembling in shock. I look up at her through angry, tear-filled eyes, feeling like half a man. I shake my head in apology.
The anger is gone, the rage that fueled my fire finally dampening. All that’s left is the misery of realizing what I’ve done to Patience. Despite what I promised her, I broke her again. She’ll never be the same after this.
And it’s all my fault.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, the words getting lost in my throat and coming out a whisper. My hands are shaking, warm blood still dripping from them. “I’m so sorry.”
The sound of sirens finds their way to us in the dean’s office. I look down at Patience in my arms. Her eyes are glazed over as she stares into the emptiness in front of her. I kiss the top of her head again and again, pulling her closer to my body for warmth and comfort. She whines and it’s like a knife to my heart.
I hate myself more than I’ve ever hated anything or anyone before. I’m a weak, pathetic coward. I left Patience here to deal with my mess. I fucking left her. The thought makes me feel sick. I drag my hands through my hair, my fingers grabbing at it and pulling.
“Fuck,” I mumble, the sickness inside me growing by the second. “Fuck.” I hit my fists against my head over and over.
This is all my fault. This happened to her because of me.
I am spinning, spiraling into a hate-filled pit. Sick and bile rise in my throat as the image of the dean on top of Patience, rutting away like she was nothing to him, forces its way back into my mind.
“Fuck,” I mumble again, my mouth filling with saliva. I’m going to vomit.
Blue lights refract off the old stained-glass windows and bounce around the room. It’s too beautiful for such an evil room. I want to smash every one of the windows with my bare hands and then set fire to it, removing anything beautiful from this evil fucking room forever.
“The police are here,” Patience says quietly.
It’s the only thing she’s said to me since the dean ran from the room, his blood still warm on my knuckles. I sat with her in my lap, trying to stem her tears while I feebly attempted to control my bloody-thirsty anger, begging for her forgiveness over and over.
She’s in shock and still trying to process what just happened to her, but it will hit her soon, and then what? Then she’ll hate me as much as I hate myself, and I won’t blame her. In fact, I want her to. I deserve her hate.
The clatter of shoes echoing in the corridor outside the door has Patience’s fingers gripping me tighter. The door swings open, and two police officers stand there, their feet wide apart and hands on their guns as if I’m a wild animal who needs to be put down. Shit, maybe I do. Maybe it would be better for everyone if I were dead. All I seem to do is ruin things.
Ruinpeople.
I recognize one of the officers, the female from when I was arrested after my last fight for Daniel. And she clearly recognizes me too. She shakes her head, disappointment showing on her face.
