He tried to laugh back. “Yeah, yeah, I know you do.”
Sketch’s gaze went to Bull, who nodded, and Sketch lifted a tool from his cart. It wasn’t a tattoo machine; it was a hot iron. It was my turn to nod then, tears stinging my eyes as I realized what they intended to do.
“You ready for this?” Sketch asked. “It’s going to hurt.”
“Can’t you just change it into something else?” Wolf asked, pointing at the tattoo on my chest.
Sketch looked at the tattoo in thought. “If I’d done it less intricate or something, maybe. I mean, I could try. But it’s big and detailed. Lot of lines, lot of shading.”
Bull shook his head. “Can’t risk it.” He looked across at the rest of the men. “Iwon’trisk it. One hint of this woman’s death at our club and we’re fucked. And we don’t have time to try. Cops could be looking for leads and end up here any minute,” he sighed, “I’m sorry, Crank, we need it gone, now.”
I lifted the bottle of whiskey to my lips and downed the rest of it before throwing it to one side and listening to it smash.
“Just do it,” I slurred. Bull put a thick wooden spoon in my mouth to bite down on.
“Real sorry about this, Crank,” he said. “This is my fault for being an asshole and putting it on you.” And then the pain drowned out the rest of his words as it incinerated everything else I felt and heard and saw.
My scream tore through the air until I passed out from the pain as Sketch melted my skin, my tattoo, and my Hope away.
~ 17 ~
I stared up at my damp, stained ceiling, the whiskey sour in my gut and my skin burning in agony. But it was nothing compared to the pain I felt inside.
The world beyond my door went on without me: bikes coming and going, people fucking and hating. The world revolved onwards. I’d gained everything with the club, and I’d lost everything with it too.
For the first time in as far back as I could remember, I felt truly alone. Not even the sound of my mother’s screams kept me company anymore. It was as if something inside me had broken. I didn’t know how to get it back, or even if I wanted it back. But mostly, I didn’t really understand what it was that I’d lost other than a part of myself I hadn’t known existed.
A knocking came on my door, and just like every other time, I ignored it. I hadn’t worked out how to look myself in the mirror, never mind how to speak to anyone else yet. Couldn’t imagine doing that for a long time yet either.
But I also couldn’t stay there.
In that room. In that clubhouse. With those men.
All knowing exactly what had happened.
The knocking came again, Stone’s voice calling my name quietly on the other side of it.
And yeah, Stone. I couldn’t look at him right then. He’d been the one to give Hope those drugs. It wasn’t his fault, much like it wasn’t Click’s fault either. It was the club’s fault. And I hated it as much as I loved it right then.
Stone left, his footsteps retreating, and I finally sat up, swinging my legs to the side of the bed and putting my bare feet on the cold floor. I needed to get out of there, that much was clear. Though where I would go, I had no idea. I couldn’t go back home because I was still running from what I’d done back there, and now I would be running from what had happened here.
Yet running was what I did best.
I stood up, and as quickly as I’d unpacked my life in that room, I packed it back up. My clothes and toothbrush got shoved into my bag along with my books and the handful of photos I had, and then I turned and looked at the room, devoid once again of life.
I left my room and headed into the main clubhouse. It was noisy and bustling with people. Bikers from out of town—Hardy and his men, by the looks of things. Women and old ladies, though there was no sign of Maria.
Bull turned and saw me and my bag and I saw the disappointment on his face as he made his way over to me. Wolf and Hammer followed close behind.
“You off somewhere, Crank?” Hammer asked.
“Thought I should give you and Maria some space,” I mocked. “It’s not going to be easy for you to make a lasting impression on your woman with me hanging around.”
He laughed. “Cocky fucker, ain’t you?”
I forced a smile and he patted me on the shoulder.
“Kicked that bitch to the curb after what happened. Figured she was bad through and through, and not the good kinda bad.”
