“When something is destroyed,” she explained, “it’s never the same again. You shattered our life, and it can’t ever be put back together the same. Do you see, Ethan?”
My mom was a beautiful woman. She hadn’t aged much over the years, but at that moment she looked a thousand years old. So I nodded that I understood, even though I didn’t.
“You’ve shattered our lives and I need to let you go so I can move on.” And then she cried really hard and had to get another tissue out. “I need to let you go, because I can’t do this anymore. I can’t come here and pretend it’s okay, because it’s not. One day I’d like to be happy again, and one of my new neighbors says that I’m not too old for that to happen.”
“When I get out, can I come and see you?” I asked, my chin trembling.
“No, Ethan. We can’t ever see each other again.”
“But you’re my mom,” I wailed, reaching for her, my hand skimming the top of hers.
“NO TOUCHING!” a nurse shouted across.
“Not anymore,” she replied.
“You are! You’ll always be my mom!” I screamed, and I grabbed her hand tightly.
She tried to pull it away, but I wouldn’t let go.
“You’ll always be my mom!”
“You’ll be okay, Ethan. I promise.”
“I SAID NO TOUCHING!” the nurse yelled as she stormed over to us. She yanked my hand out of my mom’s and then Mom stood up to leave.
“Don’t leave me, Mom! Don’t leave me here!” I screamed and screamed.
And then people were laughing at me, and I knew I was going to get my ass kicked later. And I knew the nurses and the security guards would let it happen because I was making them do extra work and they always let it happen to the patients when they had to do extra work, or even when they were bored.
“I’m sorry, Ethan,” Mom said as she started to walk away, tears pouring down her cheeks like she was sad about all of this, but she couldn’t have been that sad or she wouldn’t have been doing it. “I promise, it’s all going to be okay. You’re going to be okay, Ethan.”
I screamed for her and I fought to get out of the nurse’s grip, and then another one came and another one, and then all three had me on the ground, and my face was pressed against the dirty floor. And I didn’t like that. And I didn’t like the knee in my back. And I didn’t like my mom leaving me. And all I wanted was Carrie to be there with me. And my dad to still love me. And my mom to still be my mom.
