I look up into the sky. It’s gotten darker, so I know the storm will hit soon. I watch the heavy clouds and I tap the fingernails of my right hand onto the fingernails of my left hand. I can’t see any shapes in the clouds today; they’re just one giant smudge across the landscape.
I look away, and glance across the road, and I see him!
Mr. Fancy fucking Asshole!
And I can see my luck is about to change, and everything is going to start going my way again, and I want to air punch the sky and shout “yeah!” But of course I don’t, because I don’t want to draw attention to myself.
He’s standing with his arm out, hailing a cab like he’s done every time I’ve seen him. He looks into the sky several times, like I did, sensing, like I do, the storm that’s about to arrive. He doesn’t look happy about it.
I stand and look both ways, looking for Carrie, but she’s definitely not with him, and that makes me angry because I’ve wasted all day sitting here. And Charlie will be mad because I didn’t show up for work. And Mr. fucking Jeffrey will be mad when Charlie tells him that I didn’t show up for work. And if my mom or dad did ever bother to check in on me, Mr. fucking Jeffrey would tell them that I got into trouble at work and then they wouldn’t be happy with me!
That’s how this world works, see. It’s a giant roundabout. And no matter where you try to stop it, it continues on relentlessly.
One thing leads to another, which in turn leads to another.
There’s no denying it, and no escaping it.
It just goes on and on and on…
A cab pulls up to the sidewalk, and just as Mr. Fancy Asshole is about to get in, his cell phone rings. I can hear the obnoxious ringtone all the way from over here. It’s the James Bond theme song, and I want to laugh. Because this guy thinks he’s James fucking Bond. He thinks he’s rich and popular and he gets to have all the women and right the wrongs and save the world.
Well you don’t,I think.
You get nothing. You’re just a wannabe.
A nobody.
Someone no one would miss if you were dead.
Not even her.
Not even my Carrie.
And she’s using you while she waits for me, asshole.
And when she sees me, you’ll be history, buddy.
Ain’t that always the way?
The woman uses another man while she waits for the man of her dreams.
Do you see?I want to scream.Do you see who the real winner is here?
I go to the edge of the road and hail my own cab.
Fuck the expense. She’s worth it.
Mr. Fancy Asshole has answered his cell and he’s sitting in his cab talking and smiling, and it starts to pull away. And I panic and thinkI’ll lose him, but then a cab comes for me and it’s all going to be okay. I just know it.
I climb in, and I start to say “follow that cab,”but then I realize what a prick I’ll sound like so I don’t say anything at all. But I know I need to say something.
And then the driver looks at me through his mirror and he says, “Where to?”
And I like this guy right away, because he smiles when he talks. So I smile back at him and I say, “Straight on please, sir.”
And he nods and smiles again, because he is polite, and I am polite, and it’s all going to be all right. We’re moving now, and I’m following Mr. Fancy Asshole, and I know he’ll take me to Carrie.
I just know it.
And I can’t wait to see her beautiful face.
She’ll be so happy to see me!
