“I’ll kill him for you, Carrie,” I say. “I promise, I’ll kill him for you and then this will all stop.”
She sobs harder, her shoulders rising and falling with each great heave. When she stops crying, I promise I’ll meet her when she gets out and we will make plans. I can see the spark of hope in her eyes. I kiss her and promise her again. I tell her I won’t let him hurt her anymore.
“It’s going to be okay. I’ll make him pay, Carrie. I’ll make him pay and then he’ll be gone and you can be happy, and we can be together.” I kiss her hair and hold her even closer.
“Ethan?” she says.
“Yes?”
“But what about the others?”
I frown. “Others?”
She swallows and her eyes dart around the room like she’s trapped and looking for an escape.
“What others?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. Tell me, Carrie.”
“What about your dad?” she says, and the dizzy, sick feeling from earlier returns. “Will you keep him away from me too?”
I nod, sickness bubbling up inside me. “I will. I’ll keep them all away from you.” And I don’t know what I’m agreeing to; I only know that I’m agreeing to it. That I’m going to make them all pay for hurting her like this.
She opens her mouth and lets out a sigh. It sounds aged. Like she’s been holding her breath for a really long time.
“Good, because he hurts me most of all,” she says and looks away. “The quiet ones always do.”
I don’t know what to say to that. The world is spinning, and I am standing on a tight rope on the tip of it. I can’t get off now that I’m on it. I can only wait for the cards to fall where they will.
“I’d rather die than live like this,” she whispers.
And I understand so much, I really do. “I’d rather you die too,” I say. And I feel awful for saying it. But it’s true. Because I’d rather die than let her live like this.
The door opens and a nurse comes in. She has a pinched mouth, small and crinkled, and her eyes go wide when she sees me here. She presses the alarm button by the door.
“You shouldn’t be in here,” she says, like I am a criminal. Like I am the bad person and not her dad—but no one ever listens to kids. Especially troubled kids that cause a fuss, and tell lies, and steal, and get into fights. No one ever listens to the promiscuous girl who cries wolf, do they?!
A security guard comes in at the same time as Carrie’s dad does. The security guard begins to drag me out. His grip is strong on my arms and it hurts.
“Promise me,” she screams, her eyes wide with fear.
“I promise, Carrie,” I yell, fighting to get the security guard off me. “I promise.”
Her dad looms over me. “You’ll never see her again.” He looks over his shoulder at Carrie and I watch her shrink back against the bed.
“She’d rather die than spend another minute in that house with you,” I growl out.
He sneers. “Is that a threat, boy?”
“It’s a promise,” I say.
“You all get that? He just threatened my baby girl,” he says.
I’m so angry that I’m dizzy. So angry that he would even suggest I might hurt her. “I’m going to kill you!” I growl, but he’s not scared by me.
He laughs in my face and waves as the security guard pulls me out of the room. I watch as Carrie’s dad smiles at me and closes the door behind him, and then I am being dragged away. I pass my dad, who’s been watching everything unfold.
He looks both angry and guilty.
It’s hard to tell the difference anymore.
Now that I know his dirty little secret.
