I slip away from his embrace, suddenly needing space to think. "I'm going to shower.”
He watches me for a moment and then nods. "I'll go get us some food.” He grabs his pants and steps into them.
Once alone in the bathroom, I turn the shower on to scalding.
I step under the hot spray and let the water cascade over me, washing away the physical evidence of what Cristian and I shared.
My fingers trace over my skin.
It doesn’t feel any different. Except for the slight soreness between my thighs, I’m no different than I was before I handed my virginity over.
I guess I thought I’d feel different. More grown up or womanly, maybe.
For a moment, I thought I did, but then real life intruded again.
But I don’t regret sleeping with Cristian.
In this case, I got what I wanted. I chose who would take my virginity, and it was someone who made me feel cherished.
“I didn’t use protection. If you get pregnant…”Cristian’s words come back to me. The thought of pregnancy sends a chill through me.
Not because I wouldn't want Cristian's child, but because of what Alessandro or Maksim would do if they found out.
But I push the worry aside.
What’s done is done and I'm about to get my period.
If what I remember is true from health education, I’m past the fertile stage this month.
So instead I focus on memorizing every sensation, every touch, every whispered word from Cristian.
When I'm lying beside Maksim, enduring whatever horror he inflicts, I'll close my eyes and remember how it felt to be with Cristian.
I step out of the shower, wrapping a thin hotel towel around my body. "Cristian?" I call out, pushing the bathroom door open.
The room is empty.
My heartbeat quickens as I scan the small space.
Rumpled sheets, my clothes on the floor, but no sign of him.
No note.
Nothing.
Fear slices through me.
Did Maksim's men find us?
Did Cristian decide I was too much trouble and abandon me?
Or worse, did Alessandro somehow discover what happened and…?
I force myself to breathe and then remember he said he was going to get food.
Remembering that does little to quell the panic, but not all the way.
I'm alone, without a phone, without a weapon, and the only person who stands between me and Maksim is gone.
