And in the end, if Cristian succeeds and I don’t marry Maksim, there will likely be war between the families.
But what choice do I have?
Every day that passes is another day closer to becoming Maksim's property.
Another day closer to a life where Cristian will be forever out of reach.
I take a deep breath and begin to write a draft.
Just a little more time.
That's all we need.
When I get something that I feel resembles Alessandro’s voice and style, I feel relief and yet, also a twinge of guilt.
My brothers have always trusted me, included me in family business despite my age and gender.
This betrayal, even if meant to save my own life, feels wrong.
But marrying Maksim is wrong too.
I begin to think the only answer for me and Cristian doesn’t involve a new deal in which I’m no longer part of the arrangement.
Instead, it requires leaving all this behind. Leaving my home, my brothers, my friends, the life I’ve known.
I close my eyes and let myself imagine Cristian coming to my window tonight, a duffel bag of cash and fake passports in hand.
He'd help me climb down, his strong arms ensuring I don't fall.
We'd slip away in some nondescript car, driving through the night until everything I knew was in the rearview mirror.
Maybe we'd go south, find a small coastal town where no one knows the Dante name.
A tiny house with blue shutters, the sound of waves lulling us to sleep each night.
I'd wear sundresses and feel sand between my toes.
And Cristian wouldn't be my bodyguard anymore.
He'd just be mine.
I imagine waking up beside him every morning, his muscular arm draped across my waist, his breath warm against my neck. The way he'd touch me, like I'm something precious.
We'd make love whenever we wanted.
No politics, no alliances, no family legacies hanging in the balance.
Just us, discovering each other's bodies in our seaside bedroom.
A smile spreads across my face at the fantasy.
I know it’s silly.
I’m not even sure Cristian cares for me enough to make a life with me.
And if he did, well, it’s a pipe dream.
But I hold on to it because it’s the only good thing I have in my life right now.
