For those few minutes in the car, I wasn't a virgin to be sold off or a Dante princess to be protected.
I was simply a woman discovering pleasure.
And now I know.
I know a kiss given from passion.
I know what it feels like to have a man's hands on my body.
I know the explosive power of an orgasm given by a man, not just from my own touch.
This knowledge is both a gift and a curse.
How am I supposed to surrender myself to Maksim now?
How can I possibly endure his touch when my body knows what it feels like to be touched with reverence?
I wish I’d never come up with this silly plan because now I know just how much worse it will be with Maksim.
I’m so frustrated with myself, I want to scream.
Instead, I pick myself up off the floor and strip off the dress I thought I’d been so clever to wear.
I toss it on my bed where my purchases from today have been delivered.
I ignore them and head to the shower.
I stand under the scalding spray until my skin turns pink, scrubbing at my body as if I could erase the memory of Cristian's touch.
But I can’t.
Images of him flash unwanted in my mind.
Damn him. I curse him even though I know all this is my fault. I agreed to the marriage arrangement.
I set out to seduce Cristian.
I’ve created my own hell, but I’m powerless to escape it.
I exit the shower, drying off and throwing on a robe.
I enter my bedroom feeling utterly lost. I perch on the edge of my mattress, suddenly exhausted.
I've lived my entire life as a female in a male dominated world.
I’ve been fortunate to have the limited power and respect from my brothers.
I’d fooled myself into thinking I was as much a part of the business as they were, and like them, I needed to do whatever I could to protect the family.
It’s why I agreed to the marriage.
It seemed like something I could do when my brothers often risk so much.
My brother Luca was exiled and then was willing to hand himself over to Maksim to save the woman he loved.
The least I could do was marry Maksim in the hopes of peace.
But until today, I hadn't fully understood what I'm sacrificing. It isn't just my body I'm giving away.
