I force my jaw to relax. "Just thinking."
"About killing Maksim?"
"Among other things."
She turns to me. "You know why we can't."
"I know why we shouldn't," I correct her. "There's a difference."
"Cristian…" Her voice holds a warning.
This is why I tried so hard to resist her.
Why I insisted our night together would be just that… one night.
Even sneaking up into her room, I kissed her, but no more.
It couldn’t be more without ripping my heart from my chest.
But that’s what’s happening anyway.
The thought of letting her go, of watching her walk down that aisle to another man, it's slowly driving me insane.
"We'll find another way," I say, as if this time, it will become true.
"Sometimes, there isn't another way.”
But there has to be. Because I cannot—will not—stand by and watchher disappear into that monster's house. Not when I finally understand what it means to have something worth dying for.
"I like this time alone with you. Let’s not waste it thinking about Maksim.”
“It’s hard to forget,” I grumble, wishing I had half her strength to accept the inevitable.
“I want to make the most of the time we have left," she says. "Within reason, of course."
"What does that mean?"
"These drives together. Our talks at night when you visit. I'll hold onto these moments forever. These memories with you will get me through a lifetime with Maksim."
The way she says it, like she's already gone, like she's already surrendered, it splits me open.
"Don't talk like that," I growl. "Like it's already over."
"We both know it is."
"Is that enough for you?" I ask, my voice hard. "A few stolen conversations? Memories to cling to while he puts his hands on you?"
She flinches, and I immediately regret my harshness.
"What choice do I have?" She turns to look out her window. "This is all we get."
Her words piss me off.
I pull the car into a clearing hidden from the road, cutting the engine.
"What are you doing?" Valentina asks, sitting up straighter. "We need to get back. Alessandro will?—"
"Alessandro can wait. I need you to hear me." I take her hands in mine. "I'm prepared to die for you, Valentina. That's been true sinceday one. It's my job. But now? Now, I'd die a thousand deaths just to see you smile. So if you want comfort, love, passion—anything I can give you—it's yours. Right now. I don't care about the consequences for me."
