A laugh rips from my lungs, and I pick her up so she’s in my arms. I hold her tight as she fights me until we land on the bed, and I pin her arms down at her sides. “You said I get tonight with you.”
“That was before.” She shakes her head, her hair flying everywhere. “We can’t. Not like this.”
“Then tell me how. Tell me who you are.”
A sob rattles her, and her eyes pinch tight. “I can’t.”
I start to lose it. I drop to my elbow and cup her face, holding it until she looks at me. “You can, baby. I told you this once, and I meant it. I’m the safest person in the room. I’m safe for you.”
“I’m not safe for you.”
My anger fuses anew. “Tell me why. Tell me!” I demand when she mashes her lips together. I’m losing it, and I can’t stop myself. I can’t hold back. “I fucking love you. Don’t shake your head at me. I do. You know I do.”
She sobs, and I push into her, rocking my hips slowly so she feels me. Feels what I’m telling her.
“I’ve been watching you and waiting for you.”Thrust. “I know next to nothing about you, and yet I feel like I already know everything.”Thrust. “I see you.”Thrust. “I love you.”Thrust. “How could you think I wouldn’t know it was you?”Thrust. “That I wouldn’t remember you?”Thrust. “I searched for you for months.”Thrust. “Dreamed about you every night.”Thrust. “But you were here all that time.”Thrust. “What are you after?”
Her eyes are closed, and tears leak from them, but she’s rocking into me as I thrust my hips, sliding my cock inside her tight little pussy. Her tits bounce back and forth as I increase my pace, slamming in and out of her, burying my cock to the hilt every time. Punishing her for shutting me out.
My forehead meets hers, and I bite her lip. Hard. I make her bleed, and I lick that too. Rough and gentle. “What are you so afraid of? Do you not know I’m the fucking prince? I can help you.”
She shakes her head. “You can’t, Rowan. Please.”
“Tell me you don’t love me.”
She whimpers, and my walls start closing in.
“Tell me. Please fucking tell me.” I hate the desperation in my voice, but that’s how I am with her. Desperate. Unhinged.Cageless. “Tell me you don’t, and I’ll stop. I’ll climb off you, and that will be that.”
Except she doesn’t say anything.
Her tongue flicks my lips, and I growl, pummeling into her, slicing her body in fucking half with how hard I’m fucking her. Her pussy clenches around my cock, squeezing it like a fist, but still her lips stay sealed. Even her moans are silenced, and it’s driving me crazy.
“You can trust me,” I whisper against her lips between bites and licks and kisses. “I’m safe. I’ll never hurt you. Choose me, and I’ll always take care of you. Trust me,” I pant in time with my breaths. “Choose me. Trust me.” Despite everything, pleasure skitters across my skin, my balls draw up, and my abs tighten.
But I can’t come in her. Not this time.
She’s not mine. She’ll never be mine.
And I shouldn’t want her to be.
It shreds me apart, and I slam into her and push a finger between us to rub her clit. She’s going to come, even if I have to force her orgasm from her.
“Ah!” she cries out, and there it is. She comes so fucking hard. Her neck arches, going taut, and her face is flushed and pinched up in painful ecstasy. She’s so beautiful, and devastation twists in my gut. I watch her the entire time, rubbing and fucking her through it, savoring and mourning the feel of her around me one last time. The moment she’s done, I pull out and come across her stomach and tits, bellowing out a thunderous roar.
I fall to the bed beside her, my hands on my face, my breathing ragged.
I hear her get up, feeling the dip and rise of the bed, but I don’t move. To my surprise, she goes into the bathroom, and the door shuts. A moment later, the toilet flushes and the tap turns on. The door opens, and I still haven’t moved, the air toostill, the room too cold. I’m naked and exposed and endlessly fucking vulnerable, but I don’t move.
She brushes past the bed, and slowly I sit up, forcing myself to see her. To watch as she gets dressed, her tears all dried up now. She meets my eyes once she has her clothes back on and walks over to me. Her lips press gently to mine, then she’s gone. I keep myself rooted in place as she walks out the door and shuts it behind her. This time, I don’t chase. I let her go. Steeling myself to do whatever I have to do going forward.
Even if it means I have to take her down.
37
ROWAN
Idon’t bother getting back into bed. Instead, I break all the rules, get in a car by myself, and drive to Tourin tothe hospital. I park in the garage like a normal human and make my way up and through the hospital. They try to stop me at the entrance of the labor and delivery ward, but I simply lift my head and let the nurse see my face, and that’s all it takes.
