“What if he doesn’t ask you?”
Shit, I hadn’t even considered that scenario. It felt so obvious to me. I make my decision quickly and, without questioning it, I walk to the other end of the counter.
“Hey, um, will you take me out for breakfast again?”
David’s eyes shoot up, his lower lip begins to tremble, and he looks at me in disbelief. “Are you serious?”
I nod emphatically. “But on one condition.”
“Anything you want.” His voice is thin and raspy.
“We start from scratch. As if we’ve just met for the first time, as if we have no past. We get to know each other again and see where it goes.”
David nods and I smile as I hold out my hand to him. “Hi, I’m Louis. Nice to meet you.”
Hesitantly, he takes it. “David. Nice to meet you too.”
Chapter 32
David
25 years
After what happened last week, I didn’t expect to be sitting here again, at the same table, with the same man. With him.
“Why do you put so much sugar in your coffee?” The question makes me smile. He knows the answer, but he sticks to our game and asks it anyway. “You could drink Coke you know, it has caffeine in it too and even more sugar, if that’s what you’re craving.”
I lean forward, closer to him, and he understands immediately, following my example so that we are only a few inches apart. The closeness feels strange. So familiar and yet sonew. The feeling of knowing him better than anyone else in the world and yet knowing nothing about him because I missed the last five and a half years makes my head and my stomach spin, and I decide to answer the question truthfully for the first time in my life.
“I don’t like coffee. Actually, I hate coffee. I don’t like the taste, and I like the smell even less.”
Louis’s eyes widen. “That’s not true. You’re kidding me, right? You’ve been drinking this stuff ever since I’ve known you.”
“We’ve only known each other since tonight.” That was cheeky for me, a typical thing for Louis to say, but I’m not like that. I’m a well-behaved lapdog, and I don’t particularly like myself for it. But I guess that’s what happens when you grow up with an authoritarian father and an emotionally absent mother.
“You’re right.” Louis grins. His eyes shine, and once again I shake my head in disbelief that this beautiful man is giving me another chance to sit here with him. I don’t deserve this, I know that. “Tell me more about your coffee consumption.”
“I only drink coffee when I’m out with people. When everyone started drinking coffee at fifteen or sixteen and thought it was really cool, I thought I had to do it too to keep up. The sugar made the taste bearable somehow, and the smell... I just closed my eyes and got through it. And at some point, there was no way out anymore because everyone thought I liked what I was drinking.” Ashamed, I let my head sink to my chest.
A few fingers gently poke my hand, and I look up. Louis’s gaze is soft and understanding. “What do you drink when you’re alone?”
“Tea.” My voice breaks halfway and all coming out is a rasp.
“A specific kind?” If only I could say something cool like black tea or peppermint, but no.
“I like rooibos tea, or um... lemon verbena.”
“Really? Paps’s best friend, Nika, doesn’t drink coffee either, and we always have lemon verbena tea on hand for her. Will you excuse me for a moment?”
I’m surprised, but I can’t really say no. Still, I have to admit that the question unsettles me. In the past, I would’ve laughed because it’s so typical for Louis. He has ideas, always and everywhere, and when something pops into his head, he has to do it. Now. Immediately. And without thinking about the consequences. Apparently, that hasn’t changed and actually, I loved that about him because he pulled me out of every corner of the comfort zone, I wanted to hide in.
I nod and he jumps up. At the counter, he exchanges a few words with the saleswoman, but so quietly I can’t understand him. What is he up to?
With a satisfied grin, Louis returns to the table and takes the coffee cup from my hand. “You don’t need that anymore. Not with me.”
He comes back with a steaming cup of hot water and four different tea bags, including rooibos tea, and my heart skips a beat.
When Louis said we were making a fresh start, I wasn’t sure how that would work. Too much has happened, and too many feelings fill the space between us. But he wants this, just like I do.
