I was so scared. My mother was gone, and I was completely alone in a cold hospital bed. I cried and I screamed. Every now and then a nurse came, someone from child protection services stopped in, but there was no one important, no one who made a difference. And then Adrien and Philipp came along, my Papa and Paps for many years now, and they gave me a chance at a life, at a family and love. They took me in and raised me, and I never doubted their love for a second. They were, and still are, there for me unconditionally, and despite all my past drama, that makes me a damn happy child. Their child. Because even now, at 23, I can come home and be exactly that.
“Everything okay, big guy?” Paps always calls me that, and I love it. Even though Jannis and Luca, my two youngeradoptive and foster brothers, are both way taller than me by now, I am and always will be their big guy.
“I know what day it is. That’s why you’re here. Don’t even start shaking your head.”
I can’t stop the smile, even though I don’t feel like smiling at all; I love my Paps. “Why does it still hurt so much after all these years? Why doesn’t it stop?”
“Probably because you still don’t have an explanation for what actually happened. You can’t find closure.” I know he’s right.
“Will it always be like this?”
My dad looks at me sympathetically. “I don’t know. You loved him very much, he was your first love, and that, combined with the way he left you … this is hard to recover from. Give yourself some time. You don’t have to find the love of your life at nineteen.” With a gentle smile, he winks at me, a hint to Papa and him, who have been together for twenty-five years and got together at, you guessed it, nineteen.
I know this should be encouraging, but another more painful question haunts my mind. What if I’ve already found the love of my life and he didn’t want me anymore? What if there really is no one else out there for me? What if I don’t have enough heart left to give it away again.
Part 1
Chapter 2
David
15 years
It’s Monday morning and I’m super nervous. Today is the first day of my internship at my family’s company. Contrary to the school’s guidelines, my father insisted that I do my internship here instead of spending time learning somewhere else. Going elsewhere doesn’t make sense for me anyways—my path is clear; I want to join the company after I finish university. My father is already talking about nothing else. Our company is a family business that has grown massively over the last thirty years. I am really impressed by what my family has built, I definitely want to continue this legacy and makemy father proud. I’ll probably never take over his position as president; my half-sister is destined for that. She is seventeen years older than me and has been with the company for a few years now, running the business together with our father. I hope to take her place when my father retires.
Luckily, I’m alone in the elevator. I straighten my shirt again and run my hand through my hair. Why the hell I’m so tense is beyond me; everyone knows me here. They may not recognize me in a suit and a dress shirt though; normally I’m wearing jeans and a T-shirt, sometimes even a tracksuit if I come over right after practice. I’m the boss’s son, I don’t have to make a good impression on the employees, but I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of my father. I want him to see that I can do this, that I can take responsibility, even if it’s just for my wardrobe and my appearance. There’s a ping and the door slowly slides open.
"David. How nice to see you. Today is your big day. Are you excited?" My father’s personal assistant Tillmann greets me with a beaming smile. He hasn’t been with us long, having taken over from Mrs. Kaminski, who retired four months ago.
According to my father, he had countless interviews before he found Tillmann. We were all surprised by his choice of a male candidate, and such a young one at that, with no real professional experience, but Till has passed his probationary period and my father hasn’t said a single bad thing about him so far. Apparently, he’s got what it takes. "Your father is waiting for you in his office, your sister is there too. You can go through.”
My whole body tingles as I walk down the long hallway to the last office. Even from a distance, I can hear voices behind the heavy, dark wooden door. Are they arguing? The closer Iget, the louder they get.
“You’re kidding me!" That was my sister. I freeze in front of the door.
“Pack your things and leave! I don’t want to see you here anymore!”
“You can’t just kick me out like this.”
"You’ll get paid for the three-month notice period, but I’m relieving you of your duties and I’m banning you from the building. This is my property, and that’s my right. Do you want to argue about this?”
“Fuck you!”
Suddenly, the door bursts open, and I jump aside just in time. My sister looks at me furiously, then storms past me without another word.
“Ah, hello David.” My father rubs his face with his palm; a gesture I very rarely see him make. “How long have you been standing there?”
“I just got here.” Lie. “What’s going on with Theresa?”
"Theresa doesn’t work here anymore. She’s welcome to tell you the reasons why herself. Why don’t you ask her while she’s still here? That way you can learn quickly what the worst thing you can do is when you’re in a position of power at this company. I have a few more phone calls to make, then I’ll have time for you."
Okay, that was cryptic. But I know my father, he won’t say another word about it. If I want any information as to why my half-sister has to leave, I’ll have to ask her myself.
I walk into her office as she’s throwing a few personal items into her large handbag.
“Hi.”
“Hello David, and goodbye. As I’m sure you heard, I’m no longer wanted here.” My sister is tough, and she doesn’t putup with bullshit, but I’ve never seen her so pissed off.
