Philipp leans very close to my ear, which is turned away from the girls, before whispering: "Nika said I urgently needed to save you. I hope that was okay."
It was. The girls are speechless, now and for the rest of the evening. Everyone else is... totally normal. A few questions here and there about how we met, how long we've been together, nothing more. And once again I learn that there are people who really don't care who I love.
Chapter 47
Philipp
"Why don't you want to have sex with me?"
"What makes you think I don’t?" Adrien looks at me with wide eyes.
"You never go further or take the next step..."
"Because I don't know if you're okay with it."
I lower my head. He has a point. I've been asking myself this question since we got together three months ago. "I don't know either. I have... oh God this sounds so ridiculous but, I'm scared. All I associate with sex is pain and feeling powerless. It took me so long to get into the stuff we do now, to enjoy it. I'm scared to lose what we have, worried that all of my shit will come back."
Adrien takes me in his arms. "I'd love to sleep with you, but not for that price, okay? I have an idea for you to think about though. Would it be easier for you if you topped?"
I never thought about that, I never thought that was an option. My ex said people are only one or the other and I was always a bottom. I always had to be.
"LET ME FUCK YOU! YOU'RE NO GOOD FOR ANYTHING ELSE!"
"But... I can't do that... I mean, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do." A tinge of panic rolls over me... and something else I can't grasp yet... nerves? Excitement?
"That wasn't my question. Do you think you would feel safer?"
"What if I don't know what to do? I'm probably terribly bad and you never want to have sex with me again and then you find someone else and..."
An index finger rests gently on my mouth. "Shhh. No matter what you do, it will always be good because it's with you. Besides, we can just fool around a bit and see what we both like."
"I... would you do that? You're a top."
Adrien looks at me in confusion and then shakes his head. "No, I'm vers, I like both. It's your choice." His hand gently strokes my back and I relax. I lean my head against his shoulder, feeling his touch all over my body. Adrien's hand grips my cock, which is just getting hard. With slow but firm strokes, he brings me to full mast in record time. His tight grip is exactly what I need and the idea that it could be his ass does something to me. Something good.
"I think I want this...in you. Can I?" The thought alone sends a tingling sensation through my body.
"You don't have to decide right now, we have all the time..."
"I want this. Please don't question me, don't make me think. And stop jerking or I'll come in under a minute!" My voice is raspy and shaky, and I can't hold back the moan. It feels so good. But I feel strong and brave right now. I don't know where these feelings are coming from and I want to take advantage of them before they disappear again.
"How do we do it with prep? Should I do it myself, or do you want to?" Shit, prep, of course. I suddenly feel terribly stupid because I'm not sure what to do. I have an idea, I've played with his ass before, I know what Adrien likes, but only that. If I don't do it right, I'll hurt him, a lot. I know that and I don't want that. I could never forgive myself that.
"You're panicking. I can see it in your face. Do you want to watch me? Then you'll know what to do next time?" Adrien'svoice is gentle and understanding, I can't hear any hidden reproach or insult.
"YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE A CLUE ABOUT ANYTHING! YOU REALLY ARE THAT USELESS, YOUR ASSHOLE ASIDE!”
No. He doesn't sound like that. Adrien is not him.
"Yeah, okay...". I swallow hard and nod. We're doing this and I want this. Fuck, and I'm so nervous.
Adrien grabs the lube and puts some on his fingers. Then he sits down on his knees and brings his hand to his hole from behind. I can't see what he's doing, but his eyelids flutter and close.
"Turn around, I want to see you." My words are out before I even realize what I've said. Fuck... I press my hand to my mouth and hunch my shoulders.
But Adrien opens his eyes and grins. "Oh yeah, baby, nothing better than that." I can hear his excitement as he speaks. He turns around and leans forward on his left elbow. Two fingers of his right hand are knuckle-deep in his ass and now he's adding a third. Fuck...that's hot. I want to touch him. I don't have to ask, I know I can. I slowly kneel down between his legs. With my left hand I grab his hip, with my right I take his cock and start stroking it in a freakingly slow pace. Adrien drops his head and moans. His fingers move in and out, scissoring. I know he's into it, but I want him to squirm, to beg for more because of me.
I’m confused about my own thoughts but a feeling of control and power overtakes me and I don't want to give it up. I reach for the lube with my left hand and click it open. Adrien turns to me at the sound, rolling his eyes, when he sees, that I’m getting my fingers wet. "Oh God, yes, please." More a pressed rumble than actual words.
