Swallowing hard, I opened it and let him through before locking up and falling into step beside him. The parking lot was completely empty now, and at least for now, there wasn’t anyone strolling around. In the dark and partially obscured corner of the lot where my car waited, I cleared my throat.
“Get in the back seat,” I ordered, and Caelyx glanced back at me, looking confused but still somewhat amused by my request.
“You want to pretend to be my chauffeur or something, Cupcake?” He joked, and I shook my head.
“No,” I said, planting my hands on his torso and nudging him toward the car. His eyes widened, and he reached back tofumble with the handle, finally yanking it open and piling inside. I followed behind him, pushing him again so he understood to scoot all the way back to the other door, so I could settle onto the seat between his legs.
“Oh,” he voiced, looking and sounding pleasantly surprised.
Well, I couldn’t blame him for that. I was sure the whiplash mood change didn’t make sense to him, but I didn’t know how else to try and put us on even ground. It hadn’t mattered as much to me before but now that I’d internalized how much effort he’d put into everything with me, I couldn’t ignore it until he noticed for himself and decided to actually say yes to one of his seemingly unlimited crowd of interested suitors.
Bracing myself on my knees and leaning into his chest, I kissed his neck, tasting his skin and then nipping at it. He let out a pleased little growl, leaning his head back to give me more access, his hands slipping under my shirt. One gripped my waist, while the other trailed up to my chest, his fingers tugging at my piercing before his thumb brushed over my nipple.
I stiffened, letting out a little whine as pleasure coursed down my chest straight to my crotch as his fingers manipulated me. Pushing his hand off me, I sucked on his skin harder, trying to redirect his attention to what I was doing to him. His pulse tumbled under my tongue and he groaned, but didn’t stop trying to work his hand back up into my shirt.
“Stop it,” I mumbled, grasping his hands and pushing them back against the window, where his knuckles rapped the glass, making him wince.
The pitiful, wounded look he gave me was almost funny, if I hadn’t felt so frantic and up-ended, the worry in my brain a black cloud I couldn’t clear away.
“Stop what?”
“Touching me.”
“Why?” He demanded, his brows furrowing together. “Isn’t that what you shoved me in here for?”
“No!” I denied. “I… I want to suck your dick.”
“Okay,” he answered, a little huff of laughter tumbling out on the last syllable. “Why does that mean I have to stop touching you?”
“Because,” I answered, trying not to grit my teeth. “This is just for you. Ijustwant to blow you, and nothing else.”
He stared at me for a few moments, his blue eyes intense on mine, like he was scanning me for information.
“Is this… Some kind of apology for ignoring me today?” He finally asked incredulously.
“No,” I said, then let out a sharp exhale. “I mean, yes. Kind of.”
“I don’t need an apology, Aspen. I get that you were freaked out. It’s not worth making a big deal over.”
His use of my actual name, and not the usual nickname which I’d always found incredibly annoying but was humiliatingly starting to actually like, added a weight to his words that didn’t do much to calm my squirming insides.
“I-It’s not just that,” I insisted. “You… You’ve been doing stuff for me, and I haven’t…” I trailed off, not sure how to phrase it. It was embarrassing. I always took charge when I was screwing around with guys, but with Caelyx it’d been so easy to just let him lead, and now I was in this stupid, awkward predicament.
“Haven’t what?” He asked. When I averted my gaze, he shook his head. “Please tell me this isn’t about me going down on you the other day.”
“I mean… It’s notjustthat,” I muttered. “You… You got up out of bed in the middle of the night and walked to the fucking school for me. You-”
“I did that because Iwantedto,” he cut me off, snapping out the words. “Not so that you would owe me some weird fucking favor.”
He was irritated and upset, two things I’d never heard from him, and especially not directed at me.
“I don’t want this,” he finished, gesturing widely at his body and at me, kneeling between his thighs.
“You don’t want me to suck your dick?” I asked, all my negative feelings culminating into one giant wave of misery crashing over me like a tidal wave I wished would just drown me.
He groaned, letting his head fall back to rest on the window with a light smack. “Can you find a different way to phrase that question?”
“Do you want it or not!?” I bit out. I could only take so much humiliation in one 24-hour period, and I had just about reached my limit.
