I unlatch the small gate and walk the few steps to the car, then open the door and carefully take Hanna out. Familiar lavender of his cologne hits my senses instantly. Reflexively, I inhale deeply.
There’s a blue butterfly painted on her cheek. He took her to face painting. I bet that was fun for her.
Hanna stirs a little, but not enough to wake up. I step back and close the door, hoping Connor might come out to speak with me, but the car takes off.
The vast sea before me glistens in the moonlight. The shells and salt smell divine, and I can hear men chatting while they work at the docks. A private airplane descends toward our tiny airport.
It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. Safe. Happy. And I have everything I need for my daughter and me.
I feel ungrateful and horrible for standing here on the street, wishing for more than I have. But I miss him. I miss him so much that it hurts, when he wants nothing to do with me. I also miss Dina. I miss my parents.
I even miss the stupid city of Selnoa and the congested, terrible traffic. The grab-and-go markets, where you can get anything in five minutes. I miss the buses I used to ride when I needed to get away but couldn’t afford anything more than the ride along Selnoa’s coast.
But I accept that I can’t change the things Connor set up for me, because I trust he’s doing the best for Hanna. Whatever is best for her is best for me too. I want my daughter to grow up happy and loved. She has a man she can call Dad, even if it’s only once a year. That’s more than I thought she’d have when I brought her into this world.
I return to the townhome and put my baby in the crib so she can get a good night’s sleep.
On my way out of her room, I wipe my tears, but they keep coming, and by the time I’m downstairs in the kitchen, I’m sobbing. From the fridge, I retrieve a local beer that has twice the amount of alcohol as beers brewed elsewhere in the world.
For which I’m also grateful. I give it a twist and chug from the bottle.
A chuckle sounds.
I freeze.
“You drink like a sailor,” Connor says.
Heart hammering, I put the drink down and look in the direction of the voice. A smile replaces my tears, but drops when a shadow peels away from the shadowy corner of my kitchen. I back away as far as I can, which isn’t very far, since I bump into the oven right behind me.
The man wears a mask, which he takes off once he stands on the other side of the kitchen island.
One eye is blue. This is Declan Crossbow, not Connor. He’s wearing black on black and a vest, along with weapons. He’s the nightmare from the day he shot up the hospital. I open my mouth to say something, but no voice comes out.
“You must be wondering what I’m doing here,” he says.
A slight nod is all I can manage.
“I’m getting married tomorrow.”
I swallow. “That’s great,” I manage.
“It would be even greater if you could attend the wedding.”
“Did Dina send you?”
Declan shakes his head. “No. I came on my own because the two people I care about love you and miss you. Dina is forbidden from talking about you, and Connor is… Well, he’s just being Connor. Do you understand what I mean by that?”
“I think I do. I think I finally do. Connor wants me in his life, but he doesn’t think anyone wants him, so he’s only asking for Hanna because Hanna doesn’t hate him yet.”
Declan scrubs his face. “Correct.”
This is my chance. I’m taking it. “I’m not too proud to ask him if he would give us another chance. I’m not the kind of woman who expects a broken man to do all the work in repairing a relationship. I miss him. And Dina.”
“I’m feeling left out.”
I manage a smile. “And you.” I do not miss him. I mean, I respect the man, but he scares the shit out of me. Breaking into my house dressed in tactical gear like an assassin doesn’t help either.
Declan chuckles. “I’m playing with you.” He checks his watch.
