“Are you saying you can’t return affection?” I spin him around by his shoulders and grab a loofah, then lather it and scrub his back.
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“But you’ve returned my affection.”
“I just like fucking you, Ekatia.”
I wish he wouldn’t say that name like it’s a curse. I continue scrubbing his back as if his words don’t cut me to my heart. I don’t yet understand why they should hurt me. Connor is a fling. I’m not a stranger to flings. “I also like fucking you, Connor.”
“Then let’s just fuck.”
“Fine.”
Connor spins around and lifts me. Again, he impales me on him, but this time, the sex is vicious, aggressive, intense. Rough, to put it mildly. He pounds into me as if he wants to bruise me, and my back scrapes the tile. I dig my fingernails into his shoulders so I can hurt him as much as he’s hurting me. Maybe I can draw blood.
Probably. He might like it as much as I like how it hurts when he keeps impaling me hard. He’s aggressive, but I’m not afraid. I like this. I do like him. Really, really like him. As fucked-up as he is, he’s good to me and Hanna.
What I am afraid of is the moment when he figures out the monster he thinks he is likes me back. But perhaps by then, I’ll be long gone from his life and living in another city, working in another hospital, raising my daughter all by myself.
“I’ll pull out, don’t worry,” he says at my lips.
My reply gets swallowed by the kiss.
You don’t have to.
Chapter 26
Renne
It’s half past eight in the morning, and I’m supposed to meet with my contact at nine. Usually, he gives me a few minutes since I’m perpetually late for everything. But now more than ever, I need to be on time. Yet, I don’t know how I’ll get out of the Crossbow manor.
Someone is looking for me.
Was it the news reporter? I was careful, but then again, I have no idea whether the journalist or her cameraman actually snuck in a picture. Photographers are savvy, creative people. Investigative journalism is a profession after all.
I check the clock again. Thirty-one minutes past eight.
The meeting is at the hospital. We met there once before because I was on my shift. It’s a busy place and perfect for a covert meeting. Since I wore scrubs, it didn’t look suspicious when I entered the spare closet. But I don’t work there anymore, and I told Dina I don’t, so now I need to come up with something else.
Declan gave me back my keys, but Connor took them. After the shower earlier this morning, Connor sat in front of his many screens, and I took the opportunity to steal my keys back.
I guess it’s a workday for him. What do I know of how criminal cyberempires run? Not much other than that someone runs them. Someone smart. Connor’s intelligence makes even the smartest people look dumb.
“Hey, Dina, are you working today?” I ask.
“No. We’re off together this week, remember?” Dina’s still in jammies and making coffee. “Did you have a long night?”
“Actually, Connor was with the baby all night.”
“I see. Then it’s a good time to tell him your real name.”
OH GOD. “Wh…what? What do you mean?”
“You probably don’t remember.” Dina walks around the bar and sips her coffee. “During the chaos at the hospital, you told me Ekatia wasn’t your name. I never brought it up before because I wanted you to feel safe with me. I’ve gotten to know you, and now I love you, and you’re an important part of my life. And it looks to me like you’re important to Connor. I asked Declan what he thinks about you and Connor, and he’s beside himself because he thinks his brother is utterly obsessed with you. I will marry Declan. Connor will be my brother-in-law. And if he continues to dote on you and Hanna, he deserves to know.”
During the chaos in the hospital, I hoped I didn’t mention anything to Dina, but I have. Fuck.
I should deny it. I should say she misunderstood. But I can tell she won’t believe me. I can tell that Dina, somehow, knows I’m not who I say I am, and if I lie to her, I’ll lose her as a friend. For my self-preservation and my child’s future, how I handle this is imperative.
