“Well, I’m not gonna look,” she exclaimed, leaning away from him.
“I’m not asking you to look.”
“Don’t fondle yourself in front of me either – go use a stall.”
“You’d be lucky to have me doing that in front of you – and I wouldn’t give you the time of day!” he shot back hotly as he moved toward the bathroom, before tossing over his shoulder at her. “And no peeking either.”
“I don’t dosmallfavors…”
She heard him mock her as he disappeared behind the stall – and stood there waiting, listening, and slightly bamboozled by the adoration of the fans out there trying to get inside the bathroom… to him.
Douche-Wanker… her neighbor.
This guy didn’t match what she’d seen in the yard from a distance a few times. No, she had glimpsed at the baseball cap pulled low or the popped collar, which made her give him the nickname almost immediately because only wankers did stuff like that – or guys that never got past their Depeche Mode era.
His sigh caught her off guard.
“Is everything all right?”
“It’s not broken.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“I’m very relieved.”
“Which means you’re even more disgusting and just hit a world record if you’re already finished.”
He yanked open the bathroom stall door – glared at her – and pointed. “You’re no better than any of them out there.”
“Yes, I am, because I’m not gonna marry you, nor am I pleading to have your baby. I know you, so I know better…”
“Lady, you don’t know me, or you’d be saying differently.”
“Run for the hills?” she scoffed and lifted an eyebrow at him. “So, go on, Captain America. Go meet your adoring fans…” And he seemed to pale under his tan as his lips practically disappeared, so Steffi doubled down. “What? Not so excited or happy to be bragging about how wonderful you are?”
“I never bragged.”
“Uh huh…”
“I didn’t… and I don’t want to.”
“Well, I don’t want you staying in here with me,” she pointed out and waved a hand around as if to say ‘see’. “Besides, I’m finished in here and need to move to the next bathroom.”
“Is this your job?”
“No. I’m volunteering to get me out of a fine – a fine that I got when you volunt-tattled on me for parking on the street. Apparently, it’s against the HOA to park on the street even if you are renting a house.”
“Wait,” Drake hesitated. “That’s a rental? You aren’t supposed to have rental properties in the subdivision and…”
“So what? You’re gonna have me evicted now?” she yelled angrily, her voice vibrating off the walls as the clamoring grew quiet outside.
“No,” he hissed in realization and horror. “Look, you’ve gotta help me…”
“I don’t have to do anything.”
“I won’t say a word if you help me get out of here.”
“I should let them have you…”
