“Why is this a revelation to you, Gray? Honestly, men are so useless,” Lola says with an impatient sigh. “You just stood up to ourmotherfor Jax. You didn’t even do that with Leyla. Youhaven’t ever done it, and you think you don’t care about this woman? Please...”
I stare at my sisters, my gut churning, chest tight. I want what they’re saying to be completely wrong, to be able to brush it off as their ridiculous view of what love is and their obsession with who I’m dating.
But I can’t drown out the voice in my head telling me everything they’ve said is correct. That Jax matters, that right from the start, when I first laid eyes on her, I knew my life would never be the same.
Chapter 36
Gray
Ileave my mother’s house with a weight on my chest that I can’t shake. My skin feels as if thousands of ants are crawling all over it, and when I get into my car, I sit staring out of the windshield for the longest time, not knowing what to do with myself.
My sisters are prone to hysterics when it comes to any woman in my life, so the fact that they’ve assumed there is more between Jax and me than there is hardly comes as a surprise.
I don’t love Jax.
I don’t.
But I do feel something for her, which makes no sense, given our situation.
I stare at my phone, telling myself not to call her. There is no reason for me to speak to her right now. It’s the weekend, and I have no business disturbing her. But I want to know her opinion.
Right from the moment she set foot in my mother’s house, she was a breath of fresh air. Like sour smoke being cleared from a tunnel. She looked my mother dead in the eye and unapologetically just continued to be herself. Few people, and certainly no woman I have ever dated, has had the balls to do that.
I want to know what she would have done if she had been there. I want to know what she thinks of what I said.
I click call before I can talk myself out of it, assuming she won’t answer, jealousy rising as my brain conjures up all the places she might be.
Is she with another man? Is that how she spends her weekends?
Then another little voice pipes up at the back of my head.
Is she in trouble?
My thoughts return to that dark booth across from me, the dance floor heaving with bodies in between us, as I stared in disbelief at Nick Monroe’s hand smoothing over her waist. The waist that only I am allowed to touch.
How the fuck did she get mixed up in that world?
Nick and I haven’t crossed paths in a long while. I hoped I would never see him again.
“It’s Sunday.”
A smile spreads across my face, the ball of tension in my shoulders dissipating immediately.
“It is, isn’t it? Are you busy?”
There’s a short pause, and the sound of a door closing. “Extremely. Why are you calling me?” Her tone softens, as if she’s moved somewhere more private.
“I just told my mother I won’t be going out with Sarah again,” I say, unsurprised when there’s a long pause on the other end of the line. She would be well within her rights to ask why the hell that should be her problem.
“Good for you.” My chest swells, gut churning. “What did she say?” Jax asks.
“Not much. She stormed out.”
“Does she storm out a lot?”
“More frequently these days. Yes. How did you know?”
“My dad used to do that, too, if we ever questioned him. Never disagree with a narcissist.” She clears her throat hurriedly. “I’m not saying your mother is a narcissist, but my dad definitely is.”
