“I don’t mind a little disaster. It keeps things interesting,” he said with a faint smile, but his face sobered when he spoke again. “I know you’re scared, but we owe each other the truth. Therealtruth. So this is me laying all my cards on the table. I want to be with you. Through every season, every iteration of our relationship… it’salwaysbeen you. I’m tired of pretending it’s not. And you’re right—we’re always fighting and competing, but that’swhyI like you. You challenge me in a way no one else does, and you see me in a way no one else has. Sometimes you drive me up the wall, but you’re never boring. You are… my match in every way. You make me feelalive, none more so than last night. It meant something to me, and I think it might’ve meant something to you too. So the question now is…” His Adam’s apple bobbed with a hard swallow. “Whether you feel the same.”
My heart thundered in my ears. The room seemed to tilt as my brain struggled to process his words.
This was Sebastian as vulnerable as I’d ever seen him. The mystery cloaking him had been stripped away, leaving him raw and unguarded and waiting—for me.
Different responses clawed at my throat, but fear held them hostage.
If I said no, I’d lose him now.
If I said yes, I might lose him in the long run, when it would be infinitely more painful.
“I…” Panic washed over me. Darkness dotted the edges of my vision; my lungs strained for air. “I don’t… I can’t…”
I felt it before I saw it—the moment he shut down.
The glimmer of hope vanished from Sebastian’s eyes. His expression shuttered, and it was like an eclipse had blotted out thesun. I was so used to basking in his warmth that the sudden plunge in temperature sent me reeling.
“Right,” he said. “I guess I have my answer.” A bitter laugh leaked out. “I should’ve known. I thought that after the past few months… It’s been so long since the letter… I thought that things might’ve changed. But of course they haven’t. It was my fault for thinking otherwise.”
My stomach lurched. “What letter?”
Sebastian stared at me, his jaw tight.
“Seb.” I was tipping into free fall, my pulse roaring in my ears. “What letter?”
His face grew cold. “You know, Maya, you’re entitled to your feelings,” he said quietly. “But I was honest with you, and I thought you’d at least have the decency to not pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” He dropped his sweatshirt on the floor. “Keep it. I don’t want it.”
He walked out.
Hot tears blurred my vision, and I stood there trembling, stunned by how quickly everything had fallen apart.
I wanted to reach for Sebastian’s sweater in his absence, but it would’ve been cold comfort.
No matter what I did, I’d lost him anyway.
When I ventured out of my room again, it was nighttime. I’d missed the rest of the day’s activities after the boat ride, but if I didn’t make it to the last dinner, my parents reallywouldkill me.
I walked into the restaurant, my chest numb. I’d managed to gather my composure in the hours after Sebastian left, but he still plagued my thoughts—the rawness of his confession, the hurt in his eyes when I didn’t reciprocate, the cold finality in his voice before he walked away.
Despite his parting words, I truly didn’t know what he meant by “the letter.” I’d never received a letter from him; I’d remember if I had. Right?
“What’s wrong with you?” Neha asked when I arrived at our table. My parents were sitting with my aunties and uncles, but my sisters and I were sequestered to the side with a few of our cousins. “You look like hell.”
“Thanks a lot.” I took the seat next to her and scanned the dining room. Less than two hundred of the original two thousand guests had been invited to stay for the last day of activities. Most were relatives, but I spotted Sebastian’s parents at a table with some other close family friends. Sebastian himself was nowhere to be seen.
My heart sank. I kept an eye on the door, but he was still missing in action after appetizers were served.
“Do you know where Sebastian is?” I asked.
Neha wasn’t close with him, but she had a way of knowing everyone’s business.
Her eyebrows rose. “Didn’t he tell you? He left earlier this afternoon. Went back to New York for some emergency.”
A sharp ache knifed through my lungs. “Oh,” I said, my voice small.
He was gone. He’d left, and he hadn’t so much as said goodbye.
What did you expect?He was hardly going to shower me in farewell hugs after the way we left things. But in the past, even in the fiercest depths of our rivalry, he would’ve never left without telling me first.
