She pulls back and smiles softly.
“Has it passed?”
I nod, hating how quickly the attack gripped me this time. The room is now in focus, and the beautiful clothes no longer appear threatening. The closet no longer scares me, but it’s still not what I want.
I exhale deeply.
“A cup of tea sounds good. I don’t suppose you could choose an outfit for me and leave it in my attic room. I could use a moment if you don’t mind.”
“Of course.” She stands. “I’ll bring the tea to your room with the change of clothes. I won’t be long, but take all the time you need.”
“Thank you.”
She disappears, leaving me feeling like a fool. What must she think of me?
As I stand, I make my way to the one place I can be alone, and as I slip inside the black room, it’s as if all my problems remain outside.
As I approach the bench, I slip off my robe, fresh from the shower, all traces of Joseph scrubbed away. It’s as if I’ve been reborn, and as I lie back against the hard wood, I empty my mind, allowing my thoughts to drift, knowing I’m safe and nothing can touch me in here.
My fingers run over my body, remembering how alive I was when Joseph did the same. A tingle between my thighs, a shiver inside. My nipples are hard, my pussy soft and as myfingers probe the sweet depths, I imagine Joseph in their place. When I’m there, in that special place, nothing can touch me. I am somewhere else entirely. No problems, no threats, and no danger. I can fly.
Images of his hot kisses, his wicked breath dusting my face. His soft lips sucking, bringing me pleasure, his fingers probing and destructive.
My mind is awash with him. He has replaced the other demons and become the most important one in my life. He is my savior and my persecutor, my jailer, and my obsession. He is my husband and as he replaces the bad memories with happier ones, a soft orgasm rolls through my body like a gentle wave on a sunny beach.
In darkness, I am home.
In wickedness I thrive, and life outside the convent is way more invigorating than the one inside it.
I am where I need to be. Where I ache to be, and with the person I desire to be with. My nightmares can’t hurt me here because he is standing between me and them, and I don’t rate their chances against a man such as him.
CHAPTER 28
JOSEPH
Acold shower and a change of clothes, along with a stiff shot of bourbon, has restored my calm. What happened back in the attic room surprised me, but didn’t shock me. Feeding off Tiffany’s innocence helped keep the demons away, and for a brief second, I was free before they returned with a vengeance.
As I wait for her to join me, my thoughts turn to our guest of honor, and I wonder if he has something in return for me.
Spencer strides into the room and closes the door. As he heads to my side, I wonder what he has discovered.
“Your brothers are in a good position, waiting for you to say the word. Their business is concluded. They have fulfilled their terms of the mission.”
“I see.”
Part of me pities them. They were as averse to this as I am, and I wonder if they were as lucky as I appear to have been because Tiffany has proven to be a rare surprise.
I’m impatient for her to join me, and Spencer adds, “I also had word that your mother has left the Hamptons and is currently on the jet heading this way.”
That is news, and I say nothing as he lowers his voice. “The only explanation I was given is that she misses shopping in London. She arrives in the early hours but has decided to stay at their suite at the Lancaster.”
I’m good with that. Entertaining mom as well as manipulating this situation would be an unwelcome drain on my attention.
“Send flowers and an invitation to dinner tomorrow at the Savoy. Make it for three people.”
Spencer nods, and as he leaves, I swirl the alcohol in my glass and curse my bad luck. Mom is in town, which spells trouble for me, and as much as I love her with all of my heart, she will distract me from the reason I’m in this mess. Plus, my guards will offer her protection, despite the fact that she travels with a small army of her own. I wonder why she is really here because shopping was never Mom’s thing, anyway.
Tiffany hovers by the door, and I lift my eyes to stare at a ravishing beauty.
