“I know.I’ve been way out of line, taking my own insecurities out on you.I was afraid you were going to see how much better you were than I am and would drop me over it.”
“I didn’t drop you because I thought I was better than you.I did it because you were acting like an ass, and look at that!The thing you were worried about still happened.”
“I told you what I was thinking, not that it made sense.”As so often happened with Misty, he felt his lips quirk up.“That was one of the first things I talked about with my new therapist.”
After the way he’d treated her, she would have been well within her rights to tell him he sure needed therapy.But she didn’t.“How did it go?”
“It was pretty much an hour of me talking about why I wanted to come back to therapy, why I went into it the first time, and what I’d been up to since my last session.I said I liked working at the gym but was still sad, and I told her all about how I’d gotten to that gym job in the first place.”
He took a breath.“I also said I’d met someone I really liked and that things were going well physically, but that I was having a hard time talking without accidentally touching on something I might’ve preferred to keep buried.I mean, by the end of the day we first met, I knew everything about you from your nickname to how you feel about cilantro, but I was such a closed book.And I don’t want to be anymore.Remember what you said at the restaurant that night?”
She seemed to be thinking it over.“You’ll have to be more specific.We said a lot of things.”
“I said you made me think so far out of the box that I don’t know how to get back in, and you said, ‘So maybe you don’t.’”
Misty looked so surprised that this one line had made such an impression that she seemed unable to come up with another one.He kept talking.“And it’s true.After my time working with you, I’ve got people coming to me with more interesting goals than running a marathon or improving their form on certain exercises.My time with you tells them I’m the right man for the job, and the fact that you went to the combine says that I can help them achieve those goals.Because of that, I got a promotion with a higher hourly rate and better benefits.”
“Congratulations!”Her voice sounded authentically happy, and a smile burst across her face to light up her features.This was who he’d wanted to see.
“And I couldn’t have done it without you making me customize your workouts beyond anything I’ve ever done, staying on my mind long after our sessions, and driving me crazy.”
He felt a smile soften his features and words.“Some say the right person brings out the best in you, and that’s what you’ve done for me.You’ve made me better at my job, inspired me to work on my health, and generally made my days happier.I had no business taking my shit out on you, and I’m so sorry I did.”
****
After their last call, Misty knew she would have been justified in refusing to take this one or in hanging up on him after some of his more egregious remarks.But the more he’d spoken tonight, the more he’d drawn her in.For one thing, after he’d spent their entire time together holding so much close to the chest and letting her ramble on, it was refreshing to learn so much more about Spencer.Jason.This guy.
For another, he seemed genuinely sorry for the way he’d behaved.That was enough of a rarity in the world of “sorry you feel that way” or ending an apology with a “but,” and he was taking real steps to make sure he didn’t do it again.
She felt herself softening.“You made me better too.You got me stronger, used to the cold, ready for this and everything else...And when we first started working the sled, I flashed back to all the sled training you had me do.It would never have crossed my mind to do that.”
“Exactly.You did that, I just gave you some pointers.”
“You also took my weird goal seriously and were by my side through it all.Spe—” She paused.“Wait.What do you want me to call you?”
“Spencer,” he said firmly.“That’s the name I was using when I met you, it’s the one everyone knows me as now, and I don’t like Jason.That cocky little shit, cocky little past me had the world at his feet and didn’t appreciate any of it, just took it as his due.”
“I don’t know that I’d totally dismiss past you out of hand,” she mulled.“He did give you the skills for a job outside the insurance office.”
“Maybe.But going back to what you said, where else could I be?I saw how hard you worked, how you listened to me even if you weren’t thrilled about the process, and how far you came in our time together.It was impressive.”
“I impressed you with that?So I wore those push-up sports bras and little shorts for nothing?”she teased.
Bringing up those outfits got him to smile.“I can’t say I didn’t show off too.We couldn’t have done anything while we were working together, but I still liked looking at you and wanted you to notice me.”
“Looking at you did help take my mind off things during some of the worst exercises.Not to mention the damn ice bath.”She knew she’d just admitted to objectifying him but didn’t care.
Spencer buried his unshaven face in his hands.“I’m still sorry about that.You would’ve been within your rights to report me and ask for someone else.”
“But I didn’t want anyone else.”
She wasn’t just talking about a service provider, and Spencer seemed to pick up on that.“I didn’t want anyone else, either, and I still don’t.”
She sighed.“We should’ve talked about this before I left, but we weren’t talking much.Not that I would’ve traded those days for anything.”
“Me either.”
“We can talk about it now.”Even as she spoke, Misty wondered where to start.
