“So, now that we’ve gottenthatout of the way, I need you to know I’m on your side. And I’m onBlue’sside. Because I love you both, and I don’t think anyone wants to see the two of you win more than I do. Mostly just because I love the hell out of you guys, but… there may be some selfishness behind me rooting for you, too.”
He lowers his gaze.
“There’s a small part of me that…”
Mike blinks, and I don’t miss the tears in his eyes, despite him fighting tooth and nail not to let them fall.
“There’s a small part of me that prays I didn’t cause so much damage that my girls and Hunter can’t move past all the shit I did to find happiness.”
My heart sinks as his words weigh on me. My dad was never really much of a dad, and I know Mike wasn’t really either back in the day, but it’s impossible not to see he’s doing his best. He’s reformed, and he’s trying, and I’m realizing this is another reason I came to him tonight.
I needed to talk to a father-figure, someone who could give me the advice my asshole father was never equipped to give. Mike—along with Grandpa Boon, Dusty, and Coach—have filled the fatherly role in my life one way or another, and I’m grateful to have so many in my corner to lean on.
“Blue’s had a tough time, but she loves you,” I assure him.
“Yeah, I know, and she’s a saint for even giving me a chance, but I’m not trying to make this about me. I only mean to say that… she’s a special girl, and she’s going to require more patience than other’s might. Because she’s been through a lot.Because I’veput her througha lot,” he adds. “And while that might seem like a daunting task for most men, it hasn’t been for you. Because you’re special, too, West.”
I lower my gaze. I don’t deserve his praise. Not with how I let Blue down.
“I mean that,” he says. “You’re a hell of a guy and don’t ever let anyone make you believe otherwise. The way you’ve stood up for my daughter, protected her, loved her? I couldn’t have placed her in more capable hands if I’d picked a guy for her myself.”
Out of nowhere, it hits me again how much I miss her. It’s only been a day since she left home, and I already feel like I can’t breathe without her. I replay all the times she’s tried to talk about our issues, all the times she’s tried to fix us on her own with little help from me, all the times I shut her out…
What the hell was I thinking?
Now, she can hardly look at me.
“She’ll come back around,” Mike assures me, but I’m not sure I believe it. “Love like yours and hers doesn’t just fade away, West. You’ll go through shit, you’ll get over shit, then you’ll come together stronger to face the next wave. Together.”
Together.
I swear that fucking word haunts me, because I’m not sure I haven’t already pushed her so far away that I’ll never be able to reach her again.
“Give her time to breathe, time to be mad, and time to heal. Then, she’ll be ready to hear you out.”
Mike’s final words ring inside my head. Even after I finally leave him in peace to enjoy his night. Now, as I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, all I can think about is how much I hate that the other side of the bed is cold and empty. I turn my head and stare at Blue’s pillow, missing every single thing about her, wondering if she’s asleep or tossing and turning like I am tonight.
Mike said not to push and to give her time to feel what she needs to feel, but I convince myself it won’t be too much to send her a text. So, I tap out a few quick words before pulling her pillow closer to hold it, to pretend she’s here. I imagine her reading my message, and I pray she feels my heart through my words.
Because I mean every single one of them.
West: Our bed feels wrong without you. I know I fucked up, but please don’t let this be the thing that breaks us.
*
@QweenPandora:
Okay, something’s definitely up.
#KingMidas’s chariot was spotted parked outside #NewGirl’s old house. But before that, my inbox was flooded with pics of our king making his rounds, driving up and down the streets of the city.
No clue what tonight’s visit was about, but I can’t be the only one who smells that…
The unmistakable stench of a crisis brewing.
Stay tuned…
Later, peeps :)
