“Relax. I’m too busy for any… extracurricular activities. But if you plan on sleeping over after I’m done with training, no promises.”
My face scrunches. “You’re disgusting.”
That draws another laugh out of him as I enter his room, shutting the door behind me. I fall onto his bed and stare up at the ceiling, tryingnotto feel like a total failure. But if I could make a guess, I’ll still feel the same tomorrow.
Because my marriage will still be in the tank, and I’ll still have no idea how to fix it.
Fuck my life.
Chapter Fifteen
West
It’s ten PM, which means it’s officially been nineteen hours.
Nineteen fucking hours since I’ve seen or heard from my wife, and I can hardly see straight.
This is my fault.
I’m a total fucking idiot.
What the hell was I thinking? I know how she feels about drinking, knowwhyshe feels that way about it, and I stupidly did it anyway.
Leaning against the hood of my truck as I stare out at the river, I run a hand through my hair, wishing I could just… take it all back.
Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life, and I just needed to numb it all. So, I tried to drown it out, tried to wash it away one sip at a time, but all that got me was a fucking hangover and a lonely bed.
“Fuck!”
My voice echoes across the pier, and I shouldn’t have come here. This place holds too many memories. Memories of a past that included Blue, and I’m terrified that I’ve lost it all.
Losther.
I’m stuck in a spiral, and before I can stop myself or convince myself it’s too late, I have my phone in hand, dialing the number of the one person I can think of to talk me down.
“West?”
The sound of his Louisiana drawl is the most comforting thing I’ve heard all day. Despite all the bad shit swimming around inside my head, I smile at the sound of his voice.
“Hey, Grandpa.”
“It’s late. You all right? Is Blue okay?”
I take a deep breath. Thanks to me, she’s anythingbutokay.
“Is someone hurt?”
“No, everyone’s safe. That’s not why I’m calling.”
“Oh, well, shit. I’ve been calling you every day since your injury, but you never pick up.”
My head falls then, and I stare at my sling, feeling the weight of more guilt piling on top of the mountain I’m already carrying.
I push a hand behind my neck and squeeze. “Yeah, I just… I haven’t been in a good headspace. Didn’t want to put that on anyone else.”
“Hell, West. You know we’re better than that. With all the shit your cousins shovel my way, I’m built for that sort of thing.”
I smile at that. “You’re right.”
