I told myself I’d never look at these again, and I haven’t. I didn’t need to. We haven’t been together since.
But things are about to change. And I need the reminder of what this costs.
Because the things Sabrina said?
There’s truth to them.
Women would kill to be in my position. That’s exactly why they hate me.
And I won’t let myself forget it.
Yummy.
He could do so much better.
I click.
Right? Demetriou trash. Did you hear about her dad?
I can’t believe he would even be seen with her. He’s so much better than that.
But is he? If he associates with people like her, what does that say about him?
I’d still do him. lol.
What does he even see in her? She needs a nose job and could easily lose ten pounds.
Climbing that social ladder.
My vision blurs, and I blink fast again, but this time the tears don’t stop. They slip, hot and relentless, down my cheeks.
I wipe at them with the sheet, but it’s useless. It doesn’t help.
Nausea hits, hard and sudden.Shit.
I move fast, barely making it to the bathroom before I’m on my knees, vomiting into the toilet.
“Fuck,” I cry.
My stomach convulses again, violently, like it’s trying to expel something deeper than food. Like it’s trying to purge the memories. The pain. The trauma.
There’s always been cruelty. The hardest part was knowing that many of them knew me personally. Girls from school. Women from church. People from my own community, hiding behind their screens and saying whatever the hell they wanted.
It was bad when my dad first went to prison, but it faded with time. The whispers eventually stopped. The gossip columns got bored. They moved on.
I didn’t.
Istillhaven’t.
I’ve tried. But every time I think the past is finally behind me?—
I end up right here.
Hovering over a toilet.
My stomach clenches again, and I gag, dry heaving until my body finally gives up.
God, it hurts.
