Perfect.
Just… perfect.
Court adjourns, and I’m on my feet faster than I can even think.
“I need a minute,” I mutter to Jerry, already beelining it for the hall.
I need air.
Right fucking now.
The workon my computer stares back at me. I’ve been trying to get through the same document for over an hour, but it’s useless. I can’t focus. I’m swamped, too. Work’s piling up. I’ve only been back to New York two days since Nate died, and while I can technically work from anywhere, I didn’t plan for this. This isn’t a business trip. And this Switzerland deal is demanding more than I’m capable of giving right now.
I lean back, lace my hands behind my head, and stare at the ceiling.
Everything is so fucked.
I hate this feeling, like I’m wallowing. I’m not a wallower.
I click into my email. Maybe switching gears will help.
Nope.Absolutely fucking not.
More deals. More signatures. Three execs asking where I am.
I shut my laptop. Hard.
My chest is too tight. My head’s too full. And every time I try to think about the hearing, all I see is Cole’s face when he asked,When do I get to come home with you?
When I hear that voice in my head, everything slips.
I spiral.
And I don’t do well without control.
I’m an executive. I own multiple multimillion-dollar companies. I have power. I make the decisions. People listen to me. Not the other way around.
But right now? I have no fucking control.
The family court system couldn’t give two shits about me. I can’t do anything except play nice and do what I’m told.
Oh yeah… and get married.
I let out a sound that’s something between a laugh and a scoff.
Jordan gets in tomorrow for the funeral. She’s staying here.
With me.
She tried to get a hotel close by. I shut that down immediately. She knew I would. She does this thing where she pretends she wants one option so I can tell her how stupid it is, rather than just asking for what she wants in the first place.
She’s never been good at that. Never been good at letting herself be happy. She’s too busy trying to please everyone else.
Probably why she hasn’t had sex since Richard.
I should sabotage the spare room. Force her to stay in mine.
A grin pulls at my mouth.
