It sucks, but I’m patient as hell. I’m a Grayson. I play the long game every damn day in the business world.
And for Cole? I’ll do whatever the hell I have to in order for him to be happy.
I text Cece instead of calling her back.
I know today is an emotional day. I’d really like to see Cole, even if it’s just for five minutes. Give him a hug. Tell him I love him. If that’s alright, I can be there in thirty minutes.
I watch the message turn to read, panic washing over me as I wait.
And wait.
My knee bounces.
Jordan texts right then.Perfect timing.I need the distraction.
Jordan
Hey... just thinking about you. How’s it going? How’s Cole?
I tip my head back against the seat, struggling to accept everything that’s happened over the last twelve hours. The burn in my eyes blurs my vision, and I pinch the bridge of my nose, inhaling sharp and fast. I want nothing more than to talk to her. To talk to Jensen. But it feels like too much right now. Everything’s so fucked. So... up in the air. And saying it all out loud? It makes it too permanent.
Keith said I have a real shot at getting custody if I contest Cece’s filing. That he’ll get me the best damn attorney Chicago has to offer by the end of the day, but?—
What if I lose?
What if I lose him?
Jesus. Is this what parenting feels like?He’s not even mine and I can’t fathom losing him to Cece. Knowing what she thinks of me, she’d probably never let me see him again.
I can’t even comprehend the shit real parents feel.
I text Jordan back.
I haven’t seen him yet. Soon, I hope. I’ll tell you all about it later.
Jordan
Okay. Well, I’m thinking of you both. If you need anything, I’m here.
Thanks, babe.
Jordan
My heart squeezes in my chest.
Why?
I don’t fucking know. It’s just a text. Stupid words saying she’s there if I need her. And an emoji. That’s it.
“Christ,” I mutter.
I’m opening my car door, about to give up and head upstairs, when Cece’s text comes through.
Cece
Five minutes.
I’m serious, Matthew. It’s just too much right now. But he clearly wants to see you.
