My breath hitches.
He grins against my mouth. “I’d never leave the fucking bed.”
“Matt…” I warn weakly.
He laughs, pulling back and giving my ass a light smack. “Let’s eat before this gets cold.”
We take our plates to the table and settle into our seats, Matt across from me. My gaze wanders to the ring on my finger. It’s so similar to the one he already gave me, same cut and style, only this one is slightly smaller and paired with a second band paved in diamonds.
Curiosity piqued, I lift my eyes to him. “Why’d you buy a second ring when they’re so similar?”
He lifts his coffee to his lips, eyes peering over the rim as he takes a sip. When he sets it down, his gaze locks on mine.
“I didn’t,” he says simply. “I bought that one eight years ago. Right before you broke up with me. I was planning to propose and tell you I loved you. I had the whole thing planned out.”
Something sharp detonates inside my chest, my heart squeezing tight, a feeling I’ve become all too familiar with when it comes to Matt.
My brows furrow as his words settle in.
Would I have said yes?
Would it have even mattered?
Would we be here now if I had?
The apology rises automatically, sitting heavy at the back of my throat, but I swallow it. There’s no point digging up something we can’t undo. We’ve moved past it. We’re not those people anymore.
Instead, I ask, “Really? How were you going to do it?”
A smile curves his lips. “I was going to charter a yacht for the night. Music, candles, dancing.” He lifts a shoulder. “Similar vibe to last night, but on the water.”
“Well that would have been romantic as hell. But nothing tops last night.” My throat burns. “It was intimate.” I hold his gaze. “It was really special, babe. I loved everything about it.”
“Thanks. I’m glad you liked it. I was worried it wasn’t big enough.”
I shake my head. “It was big in every way that it needed to be,” I say softly. “It was perfect.”
His eyes narrow, brows pulling together. “You think we’d still be together if I had asked then and you’d said yes?”
I don’t even need a full second. “No.”
“Well, shit,” he says with a small laugh. “Tell me how you really feel.”
“Not because I didn’t love you,” I say quietly. “Because I didn’t know how to love you yet.”
“What do you mean? You’ve always said you loved me.”
“I did. And I meant it.” I take a breath. “That doesn’t mean I knew what to do with it. Back then I thought loving you meant choosing between you and everything else. My family. My life. Like if I chose you, everything else would disappear. That I’d lose myself and just becomeMatt’s girl.”
I shake my head. “So I ran. Not toward anything better. Just away from you. I thought I was protecting you. That you were meant for bigger things and I’d slow you down. But really I was just scared. I needed to figure all my shit out before I could choose you. And I hate that it took this long, but… I get it now.”
I hold up my hand. “This ring means more to me now than it ever would have then. Because I know the next time life gets hard, the only place I’m running is to you.”
He doesn’t answer right away. Just watches me.
He clears his throat, his thumb brushing over my knuckles. “I think,” he says, standing, “I like the sound of that.”
He pulls me up and cups my face in his hands. “I love you.”
