“You’re trying to get out of something,” he says, eyes locked on mine.
Damn.
I hold back a smile. “Is it working?”
I wrap my fingers around him and give one long stroke, then repeat.
He chuckles, grabs my wrist, then the other, and pins them both over my head with a satisfied grin. “I don’t know. Is it?”
His stare burns into mine.
“C’mon, babe. Tell me whatever it is you’re not telling me.”
I search his eyes, trying to decide if this is worth it. His relationship with his mom is already strained. His dad’s basically dead to him. I never wanted to be the cause for him to not have at least a little bit of one of them.
He releases his grip, then cups my cheek. “Babe, I don’t want to beg you to talk to me. I don’t want to push. I just want you to want to tell me things.”
He rolls onto his back with a sigh, then drags his hands down his face.
“I do want to tell you things,” I say, more to the ceiling than to him. I push back onto my elbow and turn to my side, resting my head in my hand. “I want to tell you everything. But some things aren’t worth saying because of the hurt they might cause.”
“For who—me?” he asks. “Why don’t you let me be the one to decide that?”
I let out a heavy breath. “Fine. Your mom has been…” I shake my head. “Really awful to me, Matt.Reallyawful. She’s said horrible things to me. Blamed me. She never?—”
He cuts me off. “Whoa. What do you mean she blamed you?” He sits up, leaning back on one hand, eyes laser sharp on mine. “Blamed you for what?”
I sit up too, bringing the blanket with me. I wrap it around my chest and tuck it underneath my arms.
“God, I don’t know. Foreverything.” My voice cracks, emotionhitting fast and unexpected. “For cutting class. For not going to Harvard. For my dad staining your precious family name.” I shake my head, heat spreading through my chest. “Your relationship with your dad.Herrelationship with your dad. The business deal you lost because of me. The one that would’ve landed you inForbesyears ago.”
I swallow hard, my hands fisting the blanket tighter. “I was always the reason something went wrong. And I was always going to be the thing holding you back.”
His jaw locks tight and his brows pull together, like he’s deep in thought but pissed at the same time. Finally, he exhales hard. “What business deal?”
“The one you lost right before we last broke up. After your dad—” I lift a hand. “You know…”
“Jesus. Is that what she told you? I backed out of the deal because my father stepped in as an investor.”
I sigh. “And why do you think he did?”
“It doesn’t matter. My dad had been eyeing that opportunity for a long time. He would have been involved anyway.”
“Not what your mom said. She made sure I knew your dad was pissed—at me, at you.” My gaze shifts past him, landing on a lamp. “And then she asked when I was going to learn that some men aren’t meant to be weighed down by women like me.” I pause. “That I’d always be the one who held you back.”
My eyes drop to the floor, a rush of tears flooding them.
“Christ,” Matt mutters. “Babe, you know that’s not true, right?” His thumb swipes the moisture off my cheek. “None of it.”
I lift my eyes to his. “I guess somewhere deep down, I know that now. But then? God. I was so vulnerable all the time with my dad and the tabloids.” My chin trembles, and I swipe at my eyes, but the tears fall anyway. “And then add your parents to the mix. I just…” I shake my head. “I couldn’t do it anymore. I broke. I caved.” I pause, forcing a small smile. “I’m not as strong as you, Matt. I never was.”
The room falls silent, and he closes his eyes for a moment.
When he opens them, they’re red and misty. He swallows. “I wish you wouldn’t say shit like that.” His voice is rough, low. “It’s not fucking true.”
“C’mon Matt. You’ve always been the person coming to my rescue. Saving me. Sometimes I wonder what I even bring to this relationship. You don’tneedme the way I need you.”
He doesn’t say anything. Just lets the weight of my admissions sit there between us while my heart pounds.
