My stomach tightens.Matt’s.
I find my phone and silence the alarm.
I ended up nodding off to the movie last night, practically on top of him. I finally gave up trying to stay awake and went to my room around eleven. I showered, then crawled into bed.
Matt was still out there. And I hated that his words followed me into bed.
I haven’t yet, babe.I don’t have the bandwidth to even think about it.
I stretch an arm across my body.
Shit. I’m sore.
I was at Pilates all night. I don’t know why I did that. I never take two classes back-to-back, but I panicked. I needed something,anything, to keep me busy. Something that didn’t have me thinking about Matt. Something that didn’t look like I was trying to avoid him.
Because last night, I wasn’t ready to come home to my husband.
Yesterday. The ceremony. It was over just like that. The thing I always thought would be the biggest day of my life was done in a matter of minutes, sealed with an awkward half-kiss. Then we threw on sunglasses and went our separate ways like it was nothing.
So I took a class at six, ate something quick, chatted with a friend, then took another class at eight.
God, I’m the worst.
To be fair, I really did think that I texted him.
By the time I got to Matt’s, I was desperate for things to feel normal again. So I faked it the best I could. Did what I always do—flirted, joked, laughed. That’s what we do.
I open my phone. A text notification sits at the top of my screen.
Mamá
Your yiayiá is making dinner tonight. It would be nice if you could join us.
I groan. It’s the only sound that feels appropriate.
Dinner tonight?
A hint of panic swirls in my stomach, waking up my anxiety like it needs the reminder to do its job.
Shit.
What does this even look like? I’ve spent the last week shoving thoughts of my family into a far-away corner of my brain to deal with later.
Do I lie? Pretend I didn’t get married?
No. They’ll find out eventually.
And I can’t miss dinner. That alone is a red flag.
Reluctantly, I force my fingers to type.
What time should I be there? And will you let Yiayiá know I’ll be bringing a friend?
A friend.
It’s not a complete lie.
I can already picture the look on my yiayiá’s face when I say,Oh, yeah, by the way, Matt and I got married.
