Mama braced herself against the counter like she needed it. "You should've been beatin your dick, Jules, instead of fuckin that hoe," she snapped. "This the reason all this bullshit going on now." I didn't respond. "How you know the son not yours?" she pressed.
"The lil nigga ain't old enough to be mine," I said.
She snorted. "Yeah okay." Pops had gone quiet. That was always worse than him talking. "Y'all know where she at?" he asked finally.
"Not yet," Juste said. "But ears listening and eyes watching for sho."
Mama shook her head slow, disappointment heavy in the way only a mothers could be. "Everything come back around," she said. "Every damn thing." I felt that settle in my chest. Not as guilt or shame, but as a fact. We didn't stay long after that. There wasn't nothing else to say. No advice that could fix it. No comfort that fit. This wasn't that kind of problem.
Back in the car, I stared out the window while Juste drove. Neighborhoods blurred together. Houses. Stores. People living regular lives, not knowing how close shit could fall apart.
Juste's phone rung in the car, breaking the silence. When he answered and put the phone up to his ear, I could hear Chiana screaming from the other end before he even said hello. "Chi baeebbyy, slow down. I can't understand you," he said, gripping the steering wheel tighter. He paused, listening, jaw setting. "I'm on the way." That was all he said before ending the call.
We pulled up to his house fast. I followed him inside, the front door barely closed behind us before we heard Chiana raising hell from the living room. Chi'lo and Chi'nari sat on the couch, shoulders stiff, eyes forward. Chiana was pacing the floor in front of them, hands moving, voice sharp enough to cut skin. "What the hell y'all did now?" Juste questioned, already knowing it was bad.
"They asses up there at that school fighting," she snapped. "Suspended for three days. Still won't tell me why. Why in the hell were y'all up there fighting?" They didn't say shit. Just sat there staring straight ahead like statues.
"Man, y'all niggas better act like y'all hear her," Juste said, crossing his arms. Still nothing. That's when he snapped. Juste marched over, stood in front of them, reached down, and grabbed both of them by the shirts, yanking them to their feet. "Somebody better say something or I'm bout to beat y'all ass," he growled.
"Aight, da, aight, let me go," Chi'lo said, hands coming up, voice shaking now.
Chi'nari glanced up at me real quick, then dropped his eyes back to his daddy. "Man they was at school talkin bout how they older brothers don fucked Jul and how she be sucking they dick, and-"
"NARI! Enough!" Chiana interrupted him.
"Man y'all asked what happened," Chi'lo said, kissing his teeth, frowning. I felt my insides heat up. Not rage exactly. Something tighter than that. My daughter was out here letting her name get dragged through the streets like she was some fatherless hoe, and I was standing in my brother's living room hearing it secondhand like a stranger. I was dumbfounded asfuck by what I was hearing. This shit was out of hand. I'd let it get out of hand.
I stayed quiet. Juste made eye contact with me, held it for half a second, then shifted his eyes back to the boys.
"Upstairs. Now," he said. They didn't hesitate. Didn't look at nobody. Just moved, shoulders tight, footsteps heavy on the stairs. The sound of them going up felt loud in the house, like every step was a reminder of something already broken. "Come on, brudda, let's go out back," Juste said, already moving. I followed him through the kitchen, past the sliding door, into the backyard. The air felt thick. Humid. Like it didn't want to move either. The door shut behind us and the noise from the house cut clean off, leaving cicadas buzzing and the low hum of traffic somewhere beyond the fence.
Juste sat at the table and pulled out a blunt he'd rolled earlier. Took his time lighting it, slow drag, eyes steady like he was lining his thoughts up before letting them loose. "Brudda, you gotta get ahold of your household, dawg," he said, breathing the smoke out. "I know y'all grieving and shit, but this type of shit can't be going on."
I leaned back against the post, crossed my arms. The wood felt warm through my shirt. "It's like this shit slipping from my grip," I said. "I don't even know what the fuck goin on right now, man." That part came out quieter than I meant it to. Not weak. Just tired.
"Shid, yo daughter pussy poppin on a handstand sound like," he said, making me frown up at him. "Nigga don't look at me like that." The words sat heavy. Ugly. I felt heat rise in me full of pressure. I could already imagine the whispers. The looks. The way people talked when they thought nobody who mattered was listening. That shit made my stomach tighten.
"Ion know where the fuck she get that shit from," I said. "Her mama didn't raise her like that. we didn't put shit like that in my daughter head." That was the truth. I held on to it because it was one of the few things I was sure about.
"Nigga, she get it from you," Juste said, passing me the blunt. "You better snap out of it and put ya foot down. Or else you gon have grandkids sooner than you think." I took the blunt but didn't hit it right away. Just held it between my fingers, stared at the ash glowing at the tip. I watched it hang on like it ain't know when to let go. "Shake back and get in control of shit, Ju," Juste said. "Ion blame you for bein fucked up bout Juliana. But you also gotta be present and parent your children that's still here." I nodded. It was no need to argue because he wasn't wrong.
"Yeah, I gotta get ahold of this shit with my daughter fa sho," I said. "Shit got my chest feeling funny." I didn't explain that feeling. It was the same tightness I felt on the inside when the cell door used to close. The same pressure and reminder that shit could get taken from you fast.
When I left Juste's, I headed home with my mind on a mission. Not angry, just focused and That was worse. Julise fucked up and she didn't even know it yet. When I made it in the house, Nia was wiping down the counters, movements automatic like she'd been doing the same routine over and over just to keep herself upright. The kids were sitting at the table eating, forks scraping against plates, quiet but not relaxed. "Chiana called you?" I asked her, already moving toward the closet in the hallway.
"Sure did," she said. I pulled the toolkit down and dug through the bag until I found the drill. I went to work without saying anything else or looking at anybody I walked down thehall to Julise's room and started taking the door off the hinges one by one. The drill kicked in my hand, rattling up my wrist. The screws hit the floor sharp and loud. Metal against wood. Every pop felt final. When I was finished, I carried the door straight out the front yard and threw it beside the road with the trash. without hesitating, I went back inside and bolted her windows down from the inside. Then I pulled the TV down off the wall mount and walked it outside too, set it beside the door in the trash pile like it belonged there.
When I came back in, I walked straight to the table and snatched Julise's phone up quick., without warning or explanation. I went to the sink, put the stopper in, turned the water on. Nia stood back watching me, her face unreadable, but I could tell she wasn't stopping me.
"Daddy, what you doin?" Julise stood up from the table, voice shaking.
I dropped the phone in the sink as the water filled up, watched it disappear under the surface before I turned around to face her. This wasn't about the phone, this was about me trying to get my hands back on something that was already slipping. "Julise, you got your daddy all the way fucked up," I said. "My nephews fighting at school defending your name?" Her face dropped. Shoulders caved in. That tough shit she'd been wearing cracked right in front of me. "I'm done with all this bullshit you got goin. You hear me?" I said. I didn't raise my voice. "This rude ass fucked up example you being for your sister and brother, that shit over with. This disrespectful ass shit you got goin on with ya mama, that shit is over with. The next time I hear your name tied up in some sneaky grown ass shit, I'ma whoop your ass, Julise. I'm telling you." I let it sit. "Now you can finisheating or go to your room. Choice is yours." She started crying and walked off to her room without another word.
"It's about time," Juelz said from his seat at the table.
"Shut up!" me and Nia said at the same time. I caught Nia fighting a smile she didn't want to admit to. I looked over at her with my eyebrow raised. "You say anything to her about that shit?" I asked. "This shit out of hand, Nia."
"This shit been out of hand, Jules," she said. "You been the one walking around here like a ghost." That shit stuck. She didn't have to explain it, I knew exactly what she meant. I Just stood there, listening to the sound of water running in the sink, plates clinking, life continuing like it always did. Standing in my own kitchen, looking at my kids, my wife, the mess I helped make and was now trying to clean up, I understood something clear and cold:
