“You don’t look angry now,” I said, and he smiled.
“I get angry when I’m low on sugar,” he said, causing me to blush profusely.
After tying the blouse, he turned to me and pulled me into his embrace.
“Suman,” Daadi-sa called again.
“I’m coming, Daadi-sa,” I replied.
He kissed the top of my head, stroking my back.
“All the best,” he muttered.
Confused, I furrowed my brows and pulled back from him.
“What do you mean?”
He looked at me wickedly, then said,“One is dead for you, another is dying for you, and one is waiting outside to die for you.”
?????
14. Agastya
Sometimes you desire something so desperately in your life that you pray for it every moment. It’s as if not getting it might end your life. You endure it, watching the days pass as time slips through your fingers. The urge intensifies, the hunger grows, and your stomach feels empty yet full.
You cannot describe what is happening or realise it is taking place. You confront your deepest fear: failure, the collapse of your life, when you long for something dearly, but destiny has planned something entirely different for you.
I went through it three years ago. A beautiful young woman captured my heart. My first glimpse of her was awash in the early morning orange hues. I bounced in sync with my horse while crossing the grassy fields on the outskirts of Suryagarh. It was just another day, and I was returning from one of my encounters with the prince of a small state.
Her convoy walked along the muddy road. As I approached the palanquin, frowning, I noticed a beautiful princess peeking out. Her eyes resembled a doe’s, her face was small, her brows were thick, her smile was bright, and her standards were high.
My heart raced as my horse slowed down. I watched her, absorbing every glance offered in that moment.
But as soon as she disappeared from view, my troubled past dragged me back to reality. Clinging to the hope that she might understand and trust me, I started looking for her.
I found her at a friend’s wedding. A month-long celebration drew us closer, transforming us from strangers to friends. However, when I tried to shift from friends to lovers, sharing my past, she shattered my heart with just a few words.“You’re a manwhore, and I’ll die before getting married to one.”
I returned home, trying to overcome my persistent thoughts about her. But her words cut deep, brutally. However, the fact that she made a choice, and I wasn’t the one, helped me move on from her.
For days, I questioned myself. I hated myself because I wasn’t the one she wanted. I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t measure up. I sank deep into a well of negative thoughts, believing nobody deserved a person like me.
Until I met a pair of eyes that looked at me from the other side, her gaze was that of worry, yet filled with happiness for me, with no doubts, even though she knew nothing about me.
“What do you mean?” she asked, and I couldn’t help but look into her eyes, seeking to dissolve the memory that still haunted me with a smile.
“One is dead for you, the other is dying for you, and one is waiting outside to die for you,” I replied, gazing into her hazy eyes.
Her flushed cheeks and luscious red lips, even more alluring after her orgasm, completely captivated me.
She gulped nervously and furrowed her brows, her face filled with questions.
“What do you mean? Please don’t tell me you’re going to kill him,” she whispered slowly.
I pulled her closer in a gentle hug.“You need to choose for yourself. Everyone deserves better.”
I didn’t come here to act on impulse. I wanted to see her before leaving for Mehrangarh. However, things slightly spiralled out of control, and it just happened.
My soft spot for her was growing, making its own space. I could barely remind myself that I might end up disappointing her. But that never changed the fact that I cared for her. I always did.
