“Pranaam, Panditji17,”I intoned, joining my hands and lowering myself to sit behind him alongside Eklavya, bending our heads to touch our foreheads to the ground in the holy presence of Mahadev18.
Silence lingered until he completed his chant and slowly turned to us. While his face may not have been friendly, his aura was comforting. I could feel the depth of his spirituality and devotion.
“Raah bhatak gaye ho,”“Lost your way.” he said, and I gulped nervously as I struggled to respond.
“Um, no, but it’s dark now, so we are searching for a place to spend the night,”
He shook his head and looked at me with a meaningful gaze.
“Nahi, tum jeewan ki raah bhatak gaye ho,”“No, you have lost your way of life,” he said, and I felt a slight shiver run down my spine.
I tried to ask,“What do you mean?”
He blinked silently for a moment before replying,“Stop running.” I blinked, confused, waiting for his next word.“Stop running from your past; it’s haunting your future,” he said, and I shook my head slowly, lowering my gaze.
I understood what he was implying.
“I can’t,” I replied, shaking my head.“The fear has occupied so much space within me that nothing else can coexist.”
He chuckled.“Redo the calculations, child.” His words didn’t quite make sense to me. But I nodded.
I didn’t understand why; the memory of her sitting before me that night flashed through my mind.
Silent. Hopeless. Scared. Then came the memory of her tied to that pyre, on the verge of being burned.
“Panditji,” I called, gazing at him as he raised his eyes to meet mine, a faint smile on his lips.
“I want to ask you something,” I said, speaking low, and he nodded.“A few weeks ago, I did…”
I shared everything that happened with her, and his smile grew unexpectedly.
“And now she’s scared. She’s having nightmares. Can you help me with something? Like a mantra or anything?” I asked, and he extended his hand. I looked at his palm in confusion.
“Your hand,” he said.
I shifted closer and offered it. He touched my wrist and untied the thick black thread I wore. I didn’t know how long it had been there.
Every year onShivratri19, my Bhai-sa would replace it with a new one. He told me my mother tied it around my wrist when I was born. Everyone believed it protected me from harm because when my mother died, I fell weak and struggled to survive. That was another reason my brothers loved me so much.
He untied the thread and held it in his hand, chanting some prayers before placing it back in my palm.“Tie it around her left arm. It should remain covered,” he instructed, and I nodded.
“Okay,”
I looked at Eklavya, sitting in disbelief.
Rolling my eyes at him, I looked back at Panditji.
“You both can rest there,” he said, pointing toward the inner part of the cave.
We both touched his feet before walking away.
“You could’ve asked if we would win, but no, you asked how to get rid of her nightmares. Seriously?” Eklavya said, giving me a displeased look.
The jealousy was visible on his face.
“Winning or losing depends on our actions, and she needs help,” I replied.
“She needs help,” he mimicked me.
