I took a breath, trying to collect my thoughts.
“Alright,” I said.“Alright, I’ll write it on my own. But, can you please show me one of your letters you wrote to Aishwarya Bhabhi-sa, so that I can have an idea?”
“Are you out of your mind?” he sputtered in shock.“No way.”
I gritted my teeth, rising to my feet.“Bhai-sa, you’re literally no help. I thought you were a wordsmith, and that you’ll help me pour some magic into my letter, but you turned out to be a failure.”
He suddenly threw a pillow at my face, making me yelp.
“She’s your wife. You should write it on your own. There’s no good or bad. Just pour whatever you feel like onto the paper,” he advised.
“I hate you,” I groaned and stomped out of his chamber with clenched jaw.
On my way out, Aishwarya Bhabhi-sa ran into me with a plate of fritters.
“Oh, Devar-sa! What happened?” she asked.
I grabbed some pieces, shaking my head.“Nothing, your husband is of no use.”
She knit her brows together in confusion, but I walked away from there.
I thought of asking Rudra Bhai-sa about the same, but the thought that Ranvijay Bhai-sa just hit me with the pillow, but Rudra Bhai-sa would slit my throat, stopped me.
Sadly, I returned to my chamber and lay on my bed, placing everything beside me.
I closed my eyes, and, without wanting to, the moments when I saw her for the first time, the incident that happened, and how everything changed began playing in my mind.
I inhaled deeply and looked at the blank paper. Picking up the quill again, I began writing whatever came into my mind.
Suman,
Pata nahi kyun, jab pratham baar tumhe dekha tha to kuch kshanoan ke liye dekhte hi reh gaye. Sabki drushti se door, tum ek kone mein khadi, chupchaap apni oadhni ke pallu se khel rahi thi. Shant, Sunder or Saral. Tab humein koi aabhas nahi hua. Uske pashchaat kadachit humne tumhaari oar dhyaan se, nayan bharke dekha hi nahi. Mann mein kabhi koi tumhein lekar aisa vichaar bhi nahi aaya.
Parantu jab tum kisi kaarya se kaksh mein aa jaaya karti, ya humaare bhojan ityadi ke vishay mein paraamarsh lene aati to kuch to lagta tha, kintu uska bhi humne kabhi avlokan nahi kiya.
Lekin, sab parivartit ho gaya jab humne tumhaare sasural se aaya wo patra padha.
Use padhkar jab humein gyaat hua ki tumhaare samudaay mein vidhwa streeyoan ko sati pratha nibhaani padti hai to hruday mein ek vichtra si vyatha utpanna hui. Aisa laga maano tum humse punah kabhi kuch kehne nahi aaogi, bhojan ke vishay mein humse kuch poochne nahi aaogi. Bheetar hi bheetar ek vyakulta ne humein gher sa liya tha…
Yun to koi anya stree hoti to hum uski bhi raksha karne awashya jaate, kintu raksha tak to seemit tha. Parantu jab tumse vivaah ka prashn utha tab bhi humein kuch anuchit nahi laga. Ye jaante hue ki humaara Rashmika ke saath sambandh nishchit tha, uske uparaant bhi humne tumhaari maang bharne se tanik bhi sankoch nahi kiya. Kyunki us samay humaara wo nirnay humein uchit laga.
Uske paschaat bhi humne anekoan prayaas kiye tumhein apne vichaaroan se nikaalne ke, kintu jab bhi hum tumhein dekhte, to bas dekhte hi reh jaate. Humaare netra maano keval tumhe hi nihaarne ko tatpar rehte.
Tumhaari upasthiti mein, humaare aas-paas sab shaant bhi tha aur aandhi bhi utni hi teevrata se beh rahi thi.
Dheere-dheere jab aabhaas hua ki tum bhi humaare vishay mein kuch aisa hi sochti ho to hum swayam par sayyam hi nahi dhar paa rahe the. Jitni baar tum sameep aa rahi thi, hum behak rahe the, phisal rahe the, aur tum to humein rok bhi nahi rahi thi.
Pata hi nahi chala ki kab Suryagarh ke mahal ki ek daasi, humaare mann mahal ki rani ban gayi. Jis hruday par se humaara vishwaas uth gaya tha, socha tha ki ab ye kisi kaarya ka nahi, us hruday ko humse anumati liye bina tumne apne paas le liya.
Aur tabse humne swayam ko kisi aur ke samaksh hone ki kalpana tak nahi kar paaye.
Humne kabhi nahi socha tha ki humaara ek nirnay humein jeevan mein yahaan laakar khada kar dega. Ki jo vyakti sadeiv kisi rajkumaari ke premi hone ka swapn dekhta tha, wo antataha ek saral, saadhaaran si kanya par mohit ho jaayega.
Hum tumse atyant prem karte hain, Suman.
Tum jab dukhi hoti ho to humein bilkul accha nahi lagta. Mann karta hai ki kuch bhi aisa boldein ki tum bas muskura do. Aur tum jab khush hoti ho to humaara mann phool sa jaata hai, prasann ho jata hai.
Tum saath hoti ho to samay maano ret ke bhaanti haath se phisal jaata hai, aur jab nahi hoti ho to yahi ret kaantoan ki tarah chubhti hai.
