He was just tired. We'd talk alone, and I knew him well. He wasn’t angry, just worn out.
I nodded, grabbed the plate for his lunch, and hurried toward his chamber. A proud smile crept onto my face.
He had won a kingdom and a war, burdens that weighed heavily on his shoulders. My heart raced as I took the last turn toward his chamber.
But suddenly, the soldiers at the entrance crossed their spears before me, and I frowned in confusion.
“Humein bheetar jaane dijiye; Kunwar-sa ke liye bhojan laaye hain,”“Let me go inside; I have brought lunch for Kunwar-sa.” I exclaimed.
“No, Kunwar-sa has instructed us not to let anyone inside.”
“Aap unse jaakar kahiye to sahi ki hum aaye hain bhojan lekar, wo thake hue honge,”“Please let him know I brought lunch; he must be tired.” My voice broke, fingers weakened around the heavy platter.
“He gave us strict orders not to let anyone inside.” They stood rigid on their ground.
“At least tell him once; he will let me in.” I insisted again with my dry throat.
They exchanged glances before one of them walked inside.
I felt uneasy about them having to ask. I shifted on my feet, and the strange weight on my knees unnerved me.
When the soldier returned, I gulped, my heart exploding inside.
“He asked to leave the lunch with us,” he informed, breaking the last shells of my courage.
I stood stunned and hesitated to ask again, but they denied it and took the plate from my hands.
What happened to him? Why didn’t he want to see me?
I knew it was all my fault. He was angry with me.
I returned to my work area.
Maybe he just needed some rest. I thought of making his favourite food for dinner.
I spent the whole evening making his favourite dishes. After cooking, I plated the food and went back to his chamber.
It had turned dark.
The soldiers stopped me again, and I begged them to tell him I had arrived, that Suman had come. One of them did, but Kunwar-sa still didn’t allow me inside; instead, he returned the food from earlier.
My heart shattered. Tears filled my eyes, and I couldn’t help but try to drift off to sleep after returning to my room.
I didn’t know what was wrong with him. Was it so hard for him to at least listen to me? I just wanted to express my fear, anger, and confusion about what was happening. I never intended to hurt him like that.
I couldn’t sleep as the vision of him crying, knocking, trying to speak, and returning away from my door kept revolving in my head.
I took a deep breath and woke up early the next day. I was going to make him talk to me. I wouldn’t stay idle; he had to listen to me. I prepared his favourite breakfast and entered his chamber before anyone else woke up.
The soldiers stopped me again.
“Please, let me go inside for once. I won’t cause any trouble. I won’t tell him you let me in. You know I’ve been here before. He’s upset with me. Please, help me, my brother. I promise he won’t harm you, please,” I begged, holding my hands together, and one of them nodded.
“Okay, but just make sure he doesn’t fire us,” he said, and I nodded, smiling.
“Yes, yes, I promise he won’t; I swear,”
I carried the breakfast plate inside.
