I smiled weakly. It felt peaceful after the storm had passed.
“But I hurt you,” I said in a low tone.
He shook his head, smiled, lifted his gaze a little at me, and said,“Bas ek tum hi to ho jo peeda bhi dogi to dawa jaisa lagega. To dukh kaisa?”“It is only from you that even the pain feels like a cure. So what’s there to be upset about?”
His words made me feel different, and I couldn’t help but lower my hand to his cheeks and feather it gently.“Hum aapse ghruna nahi karte,”“I don’t hate you.”
My confession made him smile widely, and he nodded in response.“Kar bhi nahi paaogi,”“You’ll not be able to.” He inhaled deeply and looked up at me.“But don’t sympathise with me. I don’t need that,” he added, and I gulped silently, unable to say anything.
He closed his eyes, and I continued to massage his head gently. I felt uneasy about everything. It wasn’t just what he said, but something more profound. I sensed I had seen this coming before, even if I didn’t understand how.
His outburst and initial attempt to distance himself made me suspect he had a dark side.
But he was unlike other men. He was there for me, not just to rescue me, but also afterwards when I needed him.
I visited his chamber the other day, and he said nothing. He understood that I just needed some silence and his presence. I didn’t realise it then, but I know he hurt me, yet he was the only one who made me feel good.
After that incident, he became my comfort. Nothing could go wrong when I was with him.
“Tell me, Suman,” he asked in a low voice, and I blinked nervously.
“What?”
He held my hand with his bandaged one and kissed my fingers before saying,“Everything that is bothering you.” His voice deepened and grew more peaceful, and I smiled.
“I don’t know, Kunwar-sa,” I started, clasping his fingers in my hand as I continued.“I’m terrified.”
He smiled and replied,“That’s okay. It’s not something you hear every day.”
I bit my lips and shifted his head off my lap; he raised his gaze to meet mine, filled with confusion and pain.
I clenched my skirt tightly and stepped into the pool. His expression shifted from confusion to shock.
His eyes widened as I let the water soak my skirt. I lowered myself to sit beside him.
He watched me as I pressed my back against the pool wall, pulled my knees close to my chest, and took a deep breath to steady my racing heart.
I gulped nervously and rested my head on his shoulder, saying,“My head hurts, too.”
I felt his body relax under my touch as he tilted his head against mine. I looked at him, intertwining our fingers before closing my eyes.
Finally, I felt at peace and comfort.
The water temperature dropped from high to low, and the oil in the lamps burned against the emptiness to brighten the world. However, when night arrived, no light could bring back the brightness.
“Maybe I should have hidden that from you. I can’t stand seeing you in pain,” he muttered slowly. I opened my eyes and looked at our hands.
The skin was turning pale from the cold water, freezing us slowly, and I bit my lip.
“Maybe, but hearing it from someone else would’ve hurt me even more,” my voice came out slow.
“No one can come between us, Suman, if you accept me as your husband,” he responded. Hearing his low, hoarse voice, I lowered my gaze and shook my head.
“What if I am not enough for you?” I asked in a low voice, and he chuckled suddenly.
“Murkh ho tum?”“Are you mad?” I thinned my brows with confusion and turned to look at him.“Jo bhi ho, jitni bhi ho, ab tum hi ho. Maang bhar di hai na. Vikalp nahi hai humaare paas,”“Whatever you are, however you are, now it’s just you. I claimed you as my wife, so I’m not left with any options.”
“What if you had options?” I asked carefully, afraid of what his answer would be.
